Family dynamics are complicated, especially when there are sick children in the family.
This woman took to Reddit to share her story.
Super long story short, I (25F) was the glass child in my family. Youngest of 5, I am the only one without severe health or mental issues so I fell through the cracks.
I spent almost all my time alone in my room reading or playing video games. I generally didn’t mind this.
While the woman’s parent’s didn’t take from her, they also didn’t give much.
I want to make it clear here I don’t resent my parents or siblings. They did not parentify me, or make me my siblings’ caretaker. My things were never taken for the siblings’ benefit.
I was just invisible because I didn’t need them the way the other 4 did.
Thankfully, chosen family exists.
When I was 9 or 10 I made friends with 2 girls who were also in similar situations as mine and we were (and still are!) our own little found family.
I went to college with just those two, I graduated with just those two. I moved to a new state with just those two. My family were busy and that was fine. I didn’t mind because that’s just how life is when you have 4 sick siblings.
Fast forward to November 2023. Mom calls me 3 days before Thanksgiving.
Which is super unusual because we don’t talk.
There is a lot of emotional distance between the mom and the daughter.
The last time we spoke on the phone was when she was telling me time and place of a sister’s funeral.
We text small talk occasionally. Our relationship is incredibly surface level and honestly that’s an improvement from my High School years when we had no relationship.
A lack of notice is going to a lead to a lack of presence.
Mom asks what time to expect me for Thanksgiving. I had no idea they were planning Thanksgiving this year. She never mentioned it before this.
I already had plans. Also, if she wanted me to come for Thanksgiving I would have needed to book a plane ticket months ago, giving me 3 days notice is not okay by me.
The mom couldn’t even remember important details of the woman’s life.
She didn’t remember that I lived 2 states away now but was upset that I would leave her “alone” on Thanksgiving, which felt very guilt trippy to me because she has Dad.
When I refused to come, she hung up on me.
The woman tried to make a compromise and bid for connection.
After about 30 minutes of scrolling back to check our messages and making sure I hadn’t missed something (I hadn’t) I sent her a text to let her know I had a skiing trip booked for X-Mas this year but I’d love to catch up with her and Dad after the New Year.
Cue the father also not remembering important details.
Shortly after I received a text message from Dad telling me that if I didn’t come home for X-Mas he would stop paying for my college.
I reminded him I graduated 3 years ago and that if he was still paying for someone’s school he should look into that because has being scammed.
To be honest, I was pretty pissed at this point about the guilt trip and the threats so I just put my phone on mute and ignored it. Mom called a couple more times but stopped.
After taking her space, the woman reached back out to her parents.
She didn’t text me on Thanksgiving or Xmas and did not respond to me texting her.
Now its February, I haven’t spoken to my parents since and my two besties are telling me I’m kind of being a jerk that they would both be super happy if their parents tried to reach out to them.
Am I the ******* because I just don’t care that they tried to reach out?
Reddit users were quick to side with the writer of this story.
One person made it clear that the parents attempt at connection is based in selfishness.
Another reader pointed at the evidence of her parents forgetting major details of her life.
This person also pointed to the evidence of forgetting.
My heart goes out to the writer. She really deserves better.
If you thought that was an interesting story, check this one out about a man who created a points system for his inheritance, and a family friend ends up getting almost all of it.