It’s not good for a company to have a lot of open accounts that people aren’t using. You can’t really upsell those people and most sales tactics you try on them will be a waste of time and money.

Plus, because they’re irritated, they probably won’t recommend you and may even talk smack about you online.

So I found this story very satisfying and I’m happy for OP. They was going to be penalized financially for closing an account, so they kept it open.

Charge me to close out the account?

I had an investment account at my bank that I set up in order to save for my kids’ college, and used it to pay tuition.

About two years after the last one graduated, I realized that i’d been getting a monthly statement for the account, even though it only had $280 in it.

A wise move for any kind of account that is stagnant.

So I went to the bank to close it out and have the $280 transferred to my checking account.

They sent me to an investment specialist in a small office off to the side, since customer service people can’t do anything with investment accounts.

This is outrageous. You don’t grow your business by using these pressure tactics!

He told me there would be a $135 fee to close out the account.

I asked if it could be waived since it was half the value of the account, it was costing the bank to send the statements, and he got irritated with me for even suggesting such a thing.

And then he starts fanning the flames of rage that he sparked with that ridiculous policy. Terrible sales practice. Ugh.

Then he spent the next fifteen minutes trying to sell me life insurance, asking how much I had in my other accounts, and that he could probably do better performance-wise if I transferred it all to his investment branch.

Good for you, OP! Maybe they’ll change their policy if enough people do this.

Cue petty revenge:

I decided not to close out the account, but to take out $279 instead, leaving a buck in it.

In a now condescending tone he lectured me that it wouldn’t stop the monthly statements, the reason I wanted to close the account.

I explained to him that it wasn’t worth $135 to me to stop the mail.

Two years later I’m still getting monthly statements for the account that now has $1.03 in it.

What did people in the comments think about this?

Good point. Listening skills are important!

This is next-level petty. I love it.

A lot of people shared similar examples. I wonder if there are 40-year old accounts like this? Vintage petty.

I wouldn’t put it past this bank if this happens! Always read the fine print.

Exactly. Do wrong to people when they’re at their worst, and they’ll never use you or recommend you when they’re at their best.

True, but he was rude and then hustled OP, so whatever.

Do what you need to do to avoid unnecessary costs.

If companies have a problem with that, they should change their policies.

If you liked that story, check out this post about an oblivious CEO who tells a web developer to “act his wage”… and it results in 30% of the workforce being laid off.