Losing a parent at a young age has got to be one of the most gut-wrenching experiences a child can go through.
Your center of gravity is gone. And you are forced to grow up in the snap of a finger.
So when that torn-apart family tries to rebuild, and becomes a blended family, it must be insanely difficult to walk that fine line and try to be happy.
AITA for saying my memory book is not some family project?
I (17M) lost my dad 10 years ago.
When he got sick he started a memory book with me so that I could hold onto the memories.
He did one for my sister too but she wasn’t as into it and was more into videos he made of himself.
But for me?
The memory book was everything and after he passed I continued adding to it.
Any memory I had of my dad or our family I would add.
Sometimes something came back when I found a random photo or something.
Well things naturally got a bit more difficult with a new family dynamic.
Then I included memories with my sister after dad.
Sometimes I included some memories of mom but after dad passed my relationship with her was harder.
She thought we needed another dad and because we said we didn’t want another dad, she was angry with us a lot.
She tried to rush a couple of relationships but they failed when the guy realized he was not getting an insta happy family.
Enter new husband/dad John into the picture.
5 years ago my mom met her husband John and they merged families.
John was a single dad of 3 kids (technically he has 4 kids but one is not in his life).
John’s three kids do not have an involved mom so my mom has stepped up to be their mom and they call her mom.
John has tried to step up to be mine and my sister’s dad.
But we see him as just a stepdad.
Then the memory book came into play.
John’s kids are just stepsiblings and I don’t love John and his kids.
I don’t hate or dislike them. But I wouldn’t ever include them in my memory book, for example.
And that’s what this is about.
My stepsiblings were in my room when I was in school a couple of weeks ago and they found the memory book.
They wanted to know why I had it and why I didn’t have photos of their dad or them.
Then the stepsiblings wanted themselves in this memory book.
My mom heard them ask those questions and she demanded to look through it.
While mom was going through it my stepsiblings said they wanted to add their own stuff and I said no, it’s not for them.
This thing has jaw-droppingly caused a rift in the family.
Mom told me not to say that kind of thing to them and then she told me it should be something that shares memory of our whole family.
I told her it was my personal thing.
She took it away for a few days and my sister stole it back and then I asked my grandpa to hold onto it for me.
Mom and John sat me down and said it’s not acceptable that I have a memory book that’s clearly about my family when I don’t include my whole existing family.
They said my stepsiblings were very upset that I wouldn’t add them or let them take part.
Then they bullied this kid to do something he did not want with the memories of his deceased father.
They then said it should be a family thing and mom insisted I hand it back over and we all work on it together.
I told them it’s not a family project. It’s mine.
It’s for me and my way of documenting memories of the people I love and they will not take it away from me.
John was p****d and said “oh so it’s like that, so you don’t love us”.
Mom told me she and John had the right to say what was or wasn’t a family project and once it’s in their home, that’s their decision.
She also told me I was disrespectful for talking back. They also told me it was time to man up.
AITA?
Wow…
Let’s see what folks had to say, shall we?
Another person called out what message this mother and John were really sending to this 17-year old.
One commenter was just like me, did not know where to begin with this.
While another person pointed out how forcing situations on kids like this never ends up well.
He’s gone in 1 year, so there’s that.
Talk about making a tough situation harder.
If you thought that was an interesting story, check this one out about a man who created a points system for his inheritance, and a family friend ends up getting almost all of it.