Parenting is a rough gig, and honestly, the probably just change as kids get older – they don’t get easier.
Teenagers are tons of fun, but they also come part and parcel with their own issues.
OP has four kids and his oldest daughter has been having trouble at school.
My wife (37f) and I (37m) have 4 kids (14f and 14m, 12m, and 11f), we generally agree on parenting them, but a recent incident had me and my wife disagreeing and I want to see if I was in the wrong.
A few weeks ago, I was at home with our 12 y/o because he was sick with a stomach bug. While I was making him soup, I got a call from my twin’s high school, telling me that they wanted to speak with me, and that my daughter had received 3 days of ISS for a bullying incident.
Because of my son’s sickness, I spoke through them via phone and they told me everything that had happened, my daughter and a group of her friends was picking on a boy for wearing a crop top, the boy told the teacher, she asked them to stop, when they didn’t stop, she sent them to the office.
After talking to the boy, he admitted the bullying was going on for a few days, and that they kept bothering him when he asked them to stop.
He mentions that she’s been in trouble for similar issues previously.
My daughter and son came home and my son’s face was bright red. I told my daughter to go to her room and then sat down with my son to see if he was okay.
Apparently the boy she bullied was a close friend of his, one of his football teammates. The boy was talking to my son and their other friends and said something about how he thought it was cool that some men used to wear sports crop tops.
The boys told him if he thought it was cool, he should try it. The boys went out and bought some jerseys from the thrift store and made them into crop tops.
I then spoke to my daughter, she didn’t show much remorse and was dismissive of me, last year she also got in trouble for bullying someone bc of clothing, she’s also gotten in trouble for being prejudiced at school (very white area, we are white, her and her friends were saying prejudiced stuff in class).
He and his wife agreed on a punishment.
When my wife got home, we discussed a punishment and agreed on not buying her new clothes for a while, she has plenty of good clothes already.
But, the first time the daughter pouted about it, his wife is waffling.
This weekend, we went to visit my brother. My brother lives around 3 hours away in a small town and we don’t see him often. This week was the town’s annual fair. At the fair, they had booths from local businesses.
Our oldest son went to the booth with antique sports stuff and then the book booth to get books on sports history (son loves reading those), our 12 y/o got some plushies and toys and our youngest was looking at video games.
Our oldest daughter went to the clothes, I stopped her and told her the rule was still in place. I said she could buy books, a video game, candy, ect, but clothes were the one thing she could not get.
She was bugging my wife and my wife eventually told her she would reconsider it, she then talked to me and I told her that I wasn’t changing my stance because I am letting her buy other stuff and I thought she was being entitled.
My daughter didn’t buy anything and my wife thinks I was too tough on her. When I called my mom for advice, she also agreed with my wife, AITA?
Should he stand up to the women in his life? Let’s find out!
The top commenter clearly thinks OP didn’t go too far.
This person agrees that OP and his wife need to do more.
They say this is the time to straighten her out.
But this commenter thinks OP actually is TA, for reasons.
Everyone is wondering where she learned to behave this way.
I have to agree with everyone here.
This girl needs some much firmer guidance, and fast.
If you enjoyed that story, read this one about a mom who was forced to bring her three kids with her to apply for government benefits, but ended up getting the job of her dreams.