Long term relationships come with their ups and downs, and almost everyone would admit to saying something they don’t mean at one time or another.
That said, people who care about each other will feel poorly about it afterward.
OP was running late and his wife was upset about possibly missing out.
Recently, my wife asked to visit a temple and an open house on Saturday, and I agreed. However, I was running 15-30 minutes late as I got ready. While I was in the bathroom, she began to cry and shout loudly.
When I rushed out, I found her sobbing uncontrollably and sitting on the floor for support. She expressed her frustration about potentially missing the open house.
He told her, in so many words, to grow up because her acting like a child was not attractive.
Although we typically attend open houses every weekend and can often visit on Sundays if we miss one on Saturday, I responded to her distress by saying, “I am ready and I was already hurrying up in the bathroom. You have grown up. Even now why are you crying like a child for something so small as that. Even if we can’t make it to the open house today because it gets closed, it will still be open tomorrow and we can go. You are 32 years old, and still you show childishness, maybe you think it seems hot or something.”
After this, I got dressed and asked if we were still going.
She responded by saying he could cook for himself and sleep on the floor.
My wife angrily grabbed frozen chicken from the freezer, slammed it into the fridge, and said, “You’re right. So this is your shelf in the refrigerator. This is your chicken. From now on, you’ll cook for yourself and sleep in the hall. I’ll lock the bedroom door.”
For the past five days, she has remained in the locked bedroom, leaving only for bathroom breaks and meals.
We live in a one-bedroom apartment, so I’ve been forced to sleep on the carpeted living room floor.
We don’t have a bed or couch in the living room, and she is only cooking for herself, so I’ve been eating out or cooking on my own.
Now she’s still angry and OP is starting to wonder whether or not he really did something wrong.
On the first night, I knocked on the locked bedroom door, asking for my pillow so I could sleep in the living room.
She replied, “F— yourself.” I asked again for the pillow, and she said, “F— yourself. F— yourself outside. You’re saying I’m 32 years old and not sexy anymore. Your face is as dark as your a——.”
Note that I never said you are 32 years and not sexy anymore. I only said 32 years and acting childish, maybe you think it is hot or something.
We are both Asian Indian with brown skin, but my complexion is darker than hers, so her comment felt offensive.
I chose not to respond to avoid escalating the situation, as she might have started screaming and disturbing our neighbors. Instead, I slept on a bedsheet on the floor, using a blanket as a pillow.
You know Reddit will let him know!
The top comment says OP is definitely not in the right.
This person says OP’s wife needs help.
If they want to solve the issue, they need empathy first.
And no, they don’t think the genders have anything to do with it.
Either way you slice it, they both need professional help.
I feel sorry for OP here, who seems blindsided.
I hope the wife can get some help, whether they stay married or not.
If you liked that post, check out this story about a guy who was forced to sleep on the couch at his wife’s family’s house, so he went to a hotel instead.