We all have said our fair share of ridiculous stuff to our parents when we were kids.
Anything from the classic “I hate you!” or “You’re the worst Mom ever!” or even the more emo lines like “You don’t understand me!” or of course “It’s not a phase Mom!”
But that angst is just part of growing up, and every parent knows their children don’t really mean the hurtful things they say to them in the heat of the moment.
Well, most parents that is. Because when this user told his Mother he hated her when he was 11 years old, she straight up abandoned him.
But when she got remarried and decided she actually wanted to be a mother to her new stepchildren he decided to tell her exactly what he thought of her during their engagement party!
Check it out!
AITA for “ruining” my mum’s engagement party after she abandoned me when I was 11?
I (17M) have a strained relationship with my mum (35F) after an incident that happened about six years ago.
My mum was super strict and a helicopter parent, so we fought a lot over my grades and the trouble I got into at school.
She had essentially abandoned me, signing over custody to my dad after I had told her something along the lines of “I hate you” and “I wish I lived with dad”.
Typical things an angsty preteen says to their parent. But that fight seemed to have broke her and she cried before dropping me off at my dad’s apartment.
I thought it wouldn’t be a big deal and I would just see her the next day after she proved her point, but she left me there.
That was only the start of OP’s childhood troubles…
After that, things got essentially worse for me.
My grades dropped and I kept getting into trouble at school, almost to the point where I was kicked out.
My dad never had job security so money was tight. His girlfriend also wasn’t fond of me, saying I was “dumped” on them. I wanted to go back to live with my mum.
He tried to apologize to his Mom, but it looked like it was too late to return things to the way they were.
I thought to apologize, but my mum had essentially moved on with her life.
She went back to college to get her degree and was always studying, and later on was focused on her new work.
On the weekends I would get to see her, things were tense between us.
She tried so hard to be the “fun” parent, eating takeout and leaving me to do what I wanted, but it was so unlike her, and we became more estranged.
And when OP’s Mother found herself a new boyfriend, things only got worse.
Three years ago, she started dating Paul (39M), a widower with two daughter (9F and 13F).
She started treating his daughter’s like they were her own and they started calling her “mummy”, which irritated me.
Eventually they moved into my mum’s house and changed my childhood bedroom into one of the daughter’s room.
I was livid when I found out, saying some mean things about the girls, and refused to go back there for my mum’s weekends, but she was confused on why was acting this way.
Things were so bad that she didn’t even want him at her engagement party, but he wasn’t going to let that stop him!
Because of this fight, she thought I wouldn’t be attending the engagement party when she announced her and Paul would be getting married.
Besides, she didn’t want there to ruin the perfect picture of her new family. So I made it a point to go for the party, and called her out on her behaviour.
I wanted to confront her and tell her she wouldn’t have to bother with me after I go off to college, but I may have taken it a tad too far.
And when people started telling her what a great mother she was to Paul’s daughters, OP had had enough.
Everyone kept talking about how Paul’s daughters were like her children and how it would be when she had more kids and it snapped something in me.
I called her a horrible parent and told her she was trying to replace me with “the little brats” after she had abandoned me, along with some other insults I don’t really remember.
Paul kicked me and my dad out, saying I was a jerk for making his fiancée and girls cry, and ruining the engagement party.
He said I won’t be allowed to the wedding unless I called and apologized.
I may have taken it a bit too far but my dad agrees she had it coming after abandoned a young child at an age when I needed my mother. So AITA and should I apologise?
I think OP not even being invited to the party with the rest of the family speaks loads about what type of mother his Mom is.
And to just start over with a new family after all the hurt she had put OP through? That’s just cruel.
Reddit felt for OP, saying this wasn’t a story for Reddit, but one for a therapist!
This user said if his Mom wasn’t going to apologize for what she did to him, then the only choice he had was to make a happy life for himself without her.
And while a few users came out in support of OP’s mom….
Most agreed that he didn’t say anything out of line for a preteen, and if she couldn’t handle some childhood angst, then she wasn’t ready to be a parent!
Let’s hope his mom’s new stepchildren are literally picture-perfect, because if not they might be getting the boot at the first sign of trouble!
If you enjoyed that story, read this one about a mom who was forced to bring her three kids with her to apply for government benefits, but ended up getting the job of her dreams.