I was out with a friend recently and he brought his girlfriend along and let’s just say that I don’t think these two are in it for the long haul.
I could just tell!
And these AskReddit users know the signs, too…
Take a look at what they had to say about this.
Alone time.
“The way they speak to each other when they’re not alone.
I noticed this after my divorce and I started dating again, because you speak to these new people with a lot of respect and kindness.
Then we’d get around married couples and they’d saw awful things to each other in nasty snappy tones, and it was jarring.
Fast forward ten years and all those couples I noticed doing that are divorced now.”
Not gonna happen.
“When one person wants to “fix” the other.
If your relationship is a repair project, you didn’t fall in love with who they are.
You fell in love with what you want them to be.”
Sounds horrible.
“Walking on eggshells around your partner in terms of what you can and can’t say.
If you feel you can’t disagree with your partner and/or voice your opinion without it turning into an argument.”
That’s pretty bad.
“If they have strongly conflicted plans for their future.
Either means they’ll break up eventually or one or both of them will end up in an unhappy compromise.”
Oh, my…
“A recent personal experience I witnessed:
The entire immediate family of one side of a wedding said it was a bad idea and less than a month into the marriage one of them stayed at their mom’s house for the night because they were fighting.
Also they got engaged as a result of a failed break up attempt…”
Ugh…
“Lack of communication.
Discussing every disagreement means screaming over each other, exploding, shutting off Communications and/or running out of the room.
So they won’t be able to resolve anything in a constructive manner.”
Look at the research.
“I’m a big fan of John Gottman, a researcher on marital happiness and relationship stability.
He can predict with over 90% accuracy which couples will make it and which couples will divorce just by observing how they interact. His books have a lot of insight into the little things you can do to build strength and resiliency into your relationship.
According to him, it’s criticism, contempt, defensiveness and stonewalling. I think once you get to contempt, it’s difficult to recover.”
Bingo!
“If the relationship started by one of them cheating on their previous partner and then leaving them to be with this new person.
I’ve witnessed two of these and both of them ended with, surprise, more cheating.
Like I don’t know why you’d possibly think starting a relationship with someone who you already know isn’t faithful would be a good idea.”
Put your phone down!
“Social media addiction.
If the person constantly needs to show the world they have an SO, and that they are just soooooo happy together, and then gets mad that the other doesn’t post as much.
Social media addiction ruins relationships.”
Party time.
“A coworker got married.
He and his wife never stopped partying separately with their friends. He would come to work and tell the same “clubbing” stories he told before he even met his wife.
Some of us had a secret bet on how long it would last.
Surprise, surprise, BOTH cheated on each other and they filed for divorce before their 1st wedding anniversary.
I bet 6 months. They made it 10 months before filing for divorce.”
Slow down.
“Moving in together after two weeks.
Saying I love you after two dates.
Basically anything that happens way faster than it feels it should.”
Sounds brutal.
”
Opening up the relationship after years of monogamy.
I’ve seen poly relationships work when they’re poly from the beginning, but from what I’ve seen amongst my circle, a sudden switch to an open relationship after a decade together is a sign that it’s about to implode.”
There’s a right way and a wrong way.
“When they don’t know how to fight!
Not fighting in a healthy way or being able to talk about your problems will destroy any relationship no matter how much you like them.”
Gross.
“Being attached at the hip/never allowing your SO to have alone time or hang with other people without you.
Had one friend whose GF was like this to the extreme. They spent every day and waking moment together for the first 3 months of their relationship due to her always demanding to be with him/never allowing him any alone time.
Usually it comes from a place of insecurity. They lasted 3 and a half months and she went full rage crazy when they broke up.”
Wishing all the troubled couples out there good luck!
If you thought that was an interesting story, check out what happened when a family gave their in-laws a free place to stay in exchange for babysitting, but things changed when they don’t hold up their end of the bargain.