Can you imagine having to take responsibility for the whole family at 13 years old?

Your mother got cancer, and your dad just checked OUT of the family,

leaving you to pick up the pieces for your younger siblings…

Doesn’t sound like a great scenario to grow up in.

But that’s exactly where this story takes us.

And the most baffling part is those around this kid who still demand more from him.

AITA for refusing to help my dad’s wife with their baby and saying I am not her helper?

How’s this for setting the scene?

Dad and I (17M) do not have a good relationship. When my mom was sick with cancer my dad was out cheating on her and he left me to take care of my younger siblings (12F and 11M).

He even let me catch him with two different women during that time and my mom was on hospice so it was really difficult not to say anything but I was so overwhelmed and scared that saying the wrong thing would take her from us sooner.

OP lets us in that he was 13 years old at the time.

That’s…a lot…for a kid to be going through.

And OP laid into his father with gusto.

This was 4 years ago and I never forgave him for what he put me through. I told him before that I never want to be like him when I grow up and he’s no role model for me. I also called him a failure as a husband and a father.

He was p****d at being called a failure as a father. But when his three kids needed him the most he wasn’t there, instead he was screwing women on the side. He also said he loved my mom and never wanted me to say he was all bad as her husband. I said I found it so hard to believe and he would never convince me he actually loved her.

Life got a bit more balanced for him when his siblings grew up a bit and were able to help out.

But that kind of responsibility on a child makes them grow up way faster than they should.

I was still mostly in charge after mom died but eventually my siblings started to pick up some skills so I wasn’t basically doing it all. It really helped and made us regular siblings again instead of me being almost a dad. But it was also tough because they’re really young and I hated that they were forced to grow up so fast. Losing mom did that anyway.

Enter: dad’s new partner.

Dad met someone a couple of years ago and he introduced her to us last year and it took only a few weeks for her to move in. Then suddenly she’s pregnant and they race to get married. My dad’s wife tried to involve my siblings and me in her pregnancy excitement but I wasn’t excited and I don’t think they were either.

I’m pretty sure we all avoided her as much as we could.

The baby arrived, but none of the siblings were feeling very…giving.

OP is already mentally checking out.

The baby was born in December and she has been reaching out to me to help pretty often. But I don’t help her. I check in on my siblings where I can but other than that I focus on me. I know biologically that baby is my half sibling but I don’t care.

I don’t see them as a sibling and I’m not planning to bond with them or keep them in my life once I’m in college. I won’t speak to dad either. Just my siblings.

Then the pressure from his dad’s wife picked up.

Recently dad’s wife has been pressing more for my help and the other day she asked me why I could be such a great big brother to my younger siblings but I have never even held her baby or cooed over her baby.

She told me she sees me do so much for my siblings and knows I was the person who helped them through when mom was sick and then when she died. She told me she figured I would want to be the same for her baby.

OP drew a line in the sand.

I told her it wasn’t my job to help and to get her husband to help if she needed it. She told me she wanted her baby to be accepted and none of us had accepted the baby yet. None of us had interacted with the baby yet.

She said it’s not fair and she needs help. I told her I’m not her helper and she needs to hire someone if she wants the help, or again, get dad. But I won’t be doing anything for her or her baby. She called me disgusting.

AITA?

The mis-placed judgement and wrath of people in situations like this never ceases to amaze.

Let’s see how people reacted, huh?

Oh look – all NTAs!

One person made an excellent point about “choice” in all of this.

One commenter would have absolutely just dropped off ALL the baggage at that point.

Another commenter is just beside themselves how out of the picture this dad has been.

One commenter said these flags were bright red.

Go ahead and take that up with dad.

If you liked that post, check out this story about a guy who was forced to sleep on the couch at his wife’s family’s house, so he went to a hotel instead.