We’re all looking for different things in relationships. As adults, most people would like a partner who is responsible and autonomous from their parents.
When you’re a young adult or still a student, that piece of the puzzle might not be such a big deal for some.
OP invited her boyfriend on a trip with her friends and their significant others.
My (20F) friends from uni and I have been planning to go on a trip next March since the beginning of this year.
Since 2 of my friends are bringing their partners along with them, I’ve asked my boyfriend (19M) if he wanted to come under the condition that he earned the money himself to cover his expenses, including plane tickets and accommodations, which had come around to be around CAD$5,000.
She seems bothered that his parents pay for a lot of his expenses while he does not work.
I made this request months ago because I knew he was going to ask his parents for the money to cover the expenses, which they had always given him… like when his brother asked for $3k for a gaming setup and when he asked for $2k so he could have a tv in his room.
His family isn’t super wealthy, but they are well-to-do. and his mom has tried to ask him to try and get a part-time job during school breaks to which he has always said he’ll try but ended up never getting one.
I grew up in a household where we often had to get by and thus, has worked/been working multiple part-time jobs since I was 16 and have been trying to urge him to get a job with his mother.
When she learned his parents would foot the bill, she told him he couldn’t come.
A couple of days ago, he told me he wants to go on the trip with me which shocked me as I questioned how he was going to raise $5000 since we still have classes and semester break doesn’t start till late Feb.
He told me he asked his parents and they agreed to help pay for his expenses.
I told him no I would not be allowing him to go on the trip with me and refused to share our itinerary document with him since I made it clear I didn’t want his parents to pay for his expenses and established that he would have to earn his keep.
But he told me that this was something I should have zero say over since I was never in charge of how his parents’ money.
We had a fight over this and he called me a controlling manipulative freak before ranting to my friends’ partners who are going on this trip with us (we’re all part of the same friend group)
They all agreed I was a little out of line and should have no say over how he raised the funds needed.
I don’t want to rant to my other friends about this since I don’t want them to think badly of me or my boyfriend but it really made me confused as I have no clue if I’m the one at fault here.
AITA?
The ensuing argument had her wondering if she’s being too harsh.
The top comment on Reddit, says OP has as many issues as her boyfriend at this point.
Of course, they’re both young. But she doesn’t seem to really like him.
No one is really sure why it bothers her so much.
They say at their ages, this should be a non-issue.
Even if they don’t get it, the boyfriend isn’t really wrong.
Maybe she’s just jealous her own parents can’t dole out money like this.
I mean, most of us would be, right?
If you liked that story, read this one about grandparents who set up a college fund for their grandkid because his parents won’t, but then his parents want to use the money to cover sibling’s medical expenses.