Families can get complicated, especially when divorces and remarriages bring different kids into the fold.
In the best case scenario, family is family, but sometimes that’s just not possible.
This young woman lost her mother when she was 8.
So I (27m) have three younger half siblings (24f, 22m and 21m). We’re maternal half siblings and I have a different dad to them.
Their dad was dating my mom for several years but they never got married.
So he wasn’t legally ever my stepdad but I guess he would kind of get the title since he lived with my mom and I lived with her half the time.
He was never interested in me and I was never interested in him (he used to creep me out) so I don’t really think of him like that but technically their dad would have been my step.
Mine was never anything to them.
Her half-siblings (5, 3, and 2) were left without a parent at all.
When my mom was pregnant with the youngest their dad was arrested and he went to prison.
He was briefly released 8 years later but ended up going back to prison.
He wasn’t a good guy and has a long list of convictions now.
I was 8 when mom died.
I was living with my dad full time when she died.
She was not taking good care of me and was taking her anger about her boyfriends release out on me through a lot of yelling and talking to me mean.
Social services asked her father if he wanted to foster them but he said no.
When mom died a social worker got involved and my half siblings were removed.
They had no biological family willing to take them and the social worker asked my dad if he would consider a kinship care agreement so they could be raised alongside me.
My dad said that was not something he would be interested in and so my half siblings were placed in foster care.
They kept visiting for another 8 years but the poster never felt able to bond with them.
My dad did agree to some visits. We had one visit every two months for years.
The visits were never easy because my half siblings would ask to move in with my dad and me and they would ask why my dad didn’t visit and why couldn’t they be with him instead so we could live together.
They were separated most of the time in foster care and would put that on me and my dad as well.
I refused the visits once I turned 16.
I hadn’t wanted them for a while but it was more annoying than anything to have to repeat the same conversation every two months.
My dad let me make the decision because he really had to drag me there for most of the visits anyway.
They recently reached out saying they wanted a relationship.
We had no contact for years and then just over two years ago they reached out to me and said they wanted a relationship again.
I told them I didn’t and they said they wouldn’t mention my dad again.
So I agreed and things were going alright. Not having to have that “fight” with them made it easier to care.
But, she learned they were telling lies about her dad.
But then a few weeks ago I found out at my half brothers 21st birthday party, that they have been lying to people claiming my dad was their stepdad and he dumped them in foster care as soon as mom died.
They apparently knew most people wouldn’t think he was wrong if he was just my dad they never knew.
So they spun a story.
Now they’re upset that she told the truth, and also that she doesn’t want a relationship.
I told people the truth when it came up and afterward I told my half siblings that I was so done with them and that their obsession with my dad taking them in is what drove me crazy before.
I told them he wasn’t their anything and lying was not the way to win me over.
They accused me of ruining their lives by exposing their lies.
AITA?
Oof. I wonder what Reddit has to say about this sad story.
The top comment says they can understand the siblings’ trauma but a relationship may not be possible.
This person wonders if she asked them why they lied.
And this commenter agrees she doesn’t owe them anything.
Most people are very sad for his siblings.
Not everyone can have a happy life, unfortunately.
I totally get how awful those kids probably felt being abandoned by everyone they knew.
That said, her father was under no obligation to raise them.
If you liked that post, check out this post about a woman who tracked down a contractor who tried to vanish without a trace.