One of the most exciting and most heartbreaking thing about having kids is that there is no way to know how they will turn out when they’re little.
You love them no matter what, but sometimes the promises made to a 3yo aren’t able to be kept.
This mom promised her wedding dress to her daughter when she was young.
My (44f) daughter (25f) is getting married later this year to her girlfriend (27f)
I have always dreamed of walking her down the aisle (my husband passed when she was a child) and she enjoyed talking about a future wedding and playing bride when she was a child, picking flowers and colours and venues.
Her husband had passed so their wedding day was something the two of them bonded over.
She loved watching the videos of my wedding and seeing me and her father get married and it was important in our bonding.
When she was thirteen I promised her my wedding dress.
Her daughter, though, has a very masculine style and for many years, has refused to wear dresses.
However her clothing style is more manly, she began refusing to wear dresses or skirts when she was in her late teens, even trying to demand her school allow her to wear trousers
It was difficult convincing her to wear dresses to formal events.
She has gone through phases of wanting short hair, wanting to be a boy, and getting tattoos.
Still, she’s a mom and she’s supportive.
I have always been very supportive of all of this, even when she met her girlfriend and proposed to her.
I have encouraged her as much as I can. I am contributing significantly to the wedding.
Or she was, until she learned her daughter wanted to turn the dress into a pantsuit.
I recently called and asked her when she wanted me to bring over the dress as it would likely need slight alterations.
She dropped the bombshell on me that she wanted to wear a SUIT and have my wedding dress altered to remove the skirt portion so that the bodice could be worn with trousers.
At first I agreed but dragged my feet bringing the dress over.
She isn’t okay with that and her daughter is super disappointed.
After a few weeks I changed my mind and told her that the dress was important to me and I didn’t want her to ruin it.
When I promised her the dress it was because I thought she would wear it as a dress, and she will only get to wear it if it is a dress.
I offered that her girlfriend could wear it as a dress instead but my daughter said that would still be ruining it (her girlfriend is a much larger woman than me so it would need more altering).
She has since not been answering my messages except with saying that the dress would be a connection to her dad so she is disappointed not to have it.
I offered to go dress shopping with her for a replacement but apparently some of our family think I am stopping her having the dress because I disagree with her being masculine.
AITA for telling her she can have it as a dress or not have it at all?
I may be the a—— because I promised it to her, but that was when she was very young and before I knew she wanted to change it.
Is this mom wrong for reneging on a decades old promise? Reddit is weighing in!
The top comment says this mom isn’t wrong for feeling the way she does.
They have suggestions for how they can honor the dad instead.
There are unlimited options.
Parents are allowed to keep things for themselves.
Some are wondering whether or not the mom is being honest with herself.
I don’t think she’s wrong.
And I think being widowed makes her dress more sentimental than normal.
If you thought that was an interesting story, check this one out about a man who created a points system for his inheritance, and a family friend ends up getting almost all of it.