Everyone had one, or two, or five of these kids in their grade school class: the mouth-breathing, all-eyes-on-me, class-clown.
Sounds familiar? Wasn’t you, was it? Ok just had to check.
They were always making life difficult, and not just for the teachers.
Other classmates being goaded into picking up the slack was always par for the course.
And that’s exactly what this person recalled in this story.
So they complied.
Fine, I’ll Type It
This is an old one from back when I was in 6th grade and school computers were still in labs.
There was a guy in my class I’ll call Jason, who was that certain breed of show off common to the early 90s – the one who totally knows kung fu but just can’t show you right now, and who makes loud fart noises every time the teacher turns around, and is more concerned with belching the alphabet than with learning to spell.
OP explains their connection to Jason.
Unfortunately, one of my friends was “dating” Jason (as much as a 6th grader can) so he was always hanging around.
And then this nightmare assignment.
We got to the dreaded Five Paragraph Essay assignment and Jason showed up with a crumpled notebook page.
He was a terrible typist and always asked me (the nerd of our group) to type his work up for him.
I, being twelve and wanting to keep my friend happy, usually did it.
For whatever reason, this essay was my last straw, so I typed it exactly as written.
But this time, an opportunity for a bit of malicious compliance arose.
Except instead of fixing his spelling as I went, I tried interpreting his terrible handwriting literally – and as wrongly as possible whenever there was ambiguity.
It wuz am umreodable mass.
My friend was mad at me, but he never asked again.
He also had been held back two grades by the time we turned 18, and is now a tractor salesman, so I guess he never needed that five paragraph essay anyway.
Let’s see what folks had to say about this one.
One person felt the need to point out a very important fact.
Another person completely agreed.
While one commenter was giving OP their flowers.
And one Redditor wondered if there was something really at play here.
All’s well that doesn’t end in a preposition.
If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a daughter who invited herself to her parents’ 40th anniversary vacation for all the wrong reasons.