When it comes to planning a wedding, a lot of it is walking a tightrope between making sure your guests are comfortable and happy while still having the day you envisioned.
This woman is officiating her brother’s wedding.
I (42 F) will be officiating my brother’s (37) wedding next month.
She asked if she could arrange for an interpreter for her deaf boyfriend, and they agreed.
Several months ago asked my brother and his fiance (35 F) if I could make arrangements and pay for for an ASL interpreter to be present for the ceremony since my boyfriend (43 M) is deaf and I cannot support his communication while officiating the wedding.
After some discussion, my brother said that I could as long as the interpreter would not be in any photos. I
It was done, in her mind, until the bride revealed she’d never approved that and thought written transcripts for both the boyfriend and people who didn’t speak English would suffice.
I made the arrangements and informed my boyfriend that I had secured an interpreter.
Yesterday I received an email with the wedding day itinerary from the wedding day coordinator and it did not mention the interpreter’s arrival time.
As a courtesy, I asked my brother’s fiance if the coordinator needed to know the interpreter’s arrival time.
In summary, her response was that they decided that I cannot have the interpreter at the wedding because they are not hiring an interpreter for her non-English speaking family members.
They would be providing paper copies of the ceremony script for the non-English speaking guests in their native languages, and I could print it out for my boyfriend if I wanted.
Her brother is siding with his bride.
I expressed that my boyfriend needs the accommodation of an interpreter, which I would be providing and paying for, in order to participate like everyone else, and that having a disability and being a non-English speaker are not comparable.
She also said that she did not know I hired an interpreter because she thought the idea was discussed but a decision hadn’t been made.
When I questioned my brother he said that there was a miscommunication, admitted that he did say I could hire an interpreter, but is now agreeing with his fiance.
She’s throwing a bit of a fit.
I have tried explaining why this is not acceptable and that my boyfriend needs an interpreter for the ceremony.
I even gave the example that this would be like telling a guest with mobility problems that he or she can’t use his or her own wheelchair at the wedding.
I argued that it is their choice to not provide an interpreter for their non-English speaking guests, since they do not think it is fair to have an interpreter present for my boyfriend, but not their non-English speaking guests.
They could provide interpreters for everyone who needs one if they wanted and I am sure that if her family wanted to provide an interpreter for their guests, it would not be an issue because we had already discussed having her brother translate for me while I am officiating, but he did not want to.
AITA for arguing with their decision to not have an ASL interpreter, which I arranged and paid for with my brother’s permission, at their wedding to accommodate my boyfriend?
Is Reddit going to take sides? Let’s find out!
The top comment says her boyfriend can manage.
This person agrees she needs to chill.
A lot of people don’t agree, though.
This interpreter agrees the guests are not the same.
Maybe everyone needs to chill out.
I agree that the written transcript seems reasonable.
A compromise is the best possible outcome.
If you enjoyed that story, read this one about a mom who was forced to bring her three kids with her to apply for government benefits, but ended up getting the job of her dreams.