Communication might be key, but it’s also something that even the best of couples have to work on from time to time.
When emotions (and hormones) are running high, that can be especially tough.
This woman and her husband were meant to spend the day at home getting ready for their new baby the following day.
But he apparently had other plans.
Let’s take a look at what happened.
AITA for telling my husband I am upset he made lunch plans with his friend the day before my c-section, didn’t tell me until the last minute and didn’t consider inviting me
I (31f) am 9 months pregnant with our first child and am booked in for a Caesarian tomorrow at 7:30am.
My husband (38m) is on his second day of parental leave, he will be off work for a month.
We had told family we will be hanging out at home together all day today getting the last few things organised for the hospital tomorrow.
It was my understanding that we would be spending the day together essentially pottering around the house and spending time together.
She was surprised to learn he had made lunch plans.
This morning his Mum suggested she come over for coffee to see us before the baby arrives, he said again we would just be home today so that would be fine and to come over whenever she liked.
When it got to 11am and she hadn’t arrived yet he then said he was annoyed because he was going to be late for a pub lunch with his friend.
I was surprised to hear he had made lunch plans and said him ‘You’re going for lunch? What about me?’.
He said he didn’t think I’d want to come and it wasn’t a big deal.
I felt disappointed as he has a habit of not considering or inviting me when making plans during our time off together (which has mostly been our weekends up until now).
His Mum came for her visit, which was enjoyable and uneventful, his lunch was brought up (by him) and his Mum agreed with me that it was a bit strange he had organised to do something without me today.
He said again he didn’t think it would matter and it’s his last day before becoming a father as well.
They argued about it, and both said things they didn’t mean.
After she left he asked if I wanted to come for lunch.
By this point I’d decided I didn’t want to because I felt like a third wheel and unwanted, so I said no.
I was setting up the baby monitor when he came in to tell me I should cut him some slack because he is going to be looking after me and the baby for the next month (which is an exaggeration but, fine) so he should be able to go out for an hour if he wants.
He also wanted me to tell him he wasn’t going to “have to hear about this again”, meaning I understood it was fine and wouldn’t bring it up again.
This caused an argument as I wouldn’t say it wouldn’t get mentioned again and I ended up telling him that I felt disappointed when he had made plans without me and I felt unimportant.
She’s wondering whether or not she was wrong to be upset in the first place.
He got angry, I cried, he left for lunch and I don’t know whether I’m in the wrong or not.
It’s not really about him going out with his friend, usually it 100% wouldn’t matter at all, but as it’s our last day together before our baby arrives I would just like to have been factored in to the decision making and not be told as an aside after plans are already made.
AITA?
Reddit to the rescue!
They’re trying to give him the benefit of the doubt.
Yeah, it’s not about him.
This person says it’s time for some boundaries.
But maybe it’s not a dealbreaker kind of argument.
I don’t really think anyone was wrong as far as the original argument.
That said, he definitely could have handled hearing about her feelings better.
If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a daughter who invited herself to her parents’ 40th anniversary vacation for all the wrong reasons.