There are so many stories on Reddit about families who are having trouble blending after a divorce (or death) and a remarriage.
It’s hard work.
Parents have to think about their own kids, and the new ones, and what is best for the family as a whole.
This family has a bunch of teenagers, and although his wife’s ex-husband is in the picture, he is on his own.
I (44m) have two children (18m, 16f.) My ex-wife abandoned the family when my daughter was still a baby.
I recently married a woman (42f) with three kids (17f, 14f, 13m.) Their father is still involved in their lives.
All of our kids are still in high school, though my son is set to graduate soon. They recently had their spring break.
For spring break, his wife took her two daughters on a trip but left his home because it was “their” tradition.
During spring break my wife took her two girls to a major city near us for a “Mommy/daughter day.” They ate, went to a spa, etc.
Before they went I suggested to her that she should include my daughter, but she said “no” as this was a yearly tradition with just her girls.
He included her son in plans while he was at home with him. When his wife returned, she had a mother/son day with her son.
While she was gone I took my kids and her son out for bowling and mini golf.
After her trip with her girls was over, the next day, she took her son out for a “Mother/son day” where she took him out to see whatever movie he wanted.
They are arguing about why she couldn’t have included his daughter, but she is firm in her choice.
She and I have been arguing ever since about how she excluded my daughter from her “Mommy/daughter” day.
I think it was cruel. My daughter grew up without a mother and I know it would have meant a lot to her to be included.
But my wife says that she was just carrying on old traditions; of spending time with just her girls and then spending time with just her son, and that she’d be happy to start a new tradition with my daughter, but that it needed to be a different thing.
He’s wondering if he should stop pushing.
She also said “I didn’t bring your son along with my mother/son time with my son. Why aren’t you making an issue out of that?”
I told her that it was different; that my daughter really needed girl time and that excluding her was hurtful.
I still think she should have invited my daughter along; that she should have been made a new part of the “tradition.” AITA?
Reddit to the rescue!
The top comment says the “new tradition” is the best compromise.
This person says as long as everyone feels loved, they’re good.
And this commenter agrees her daughters deserve consideration, too.
There are a few unanswered questions.
This person agrees.
I feel both sides of this, honestly.
I’m not sure there is a right or easy answer.