I’m really looking forward to menopause and saying goodbye to cramps and PMS.

According to this story, it has a few drawbacks of its own.

Check out how menopausal nausea can have either unfortunate or fortunate results – depending on how you look at it.

A little sick story

Ever since the Fates slapped me with early-onset menopause, I’ve been having weird strong reactions to smells.

Odors that others won’t even be aware of will make me gag. It’s not fun. But it’s an entirely ‘me’ problem.

I don’t police what people spritz themselves with. I just try to avoid the more obnoxious smells when I can.

This sounds horrible!

So, I got on an elevator in one of those high-rise multi-office buildings. A couple floors down, a woman joins me.

I am instantly hit with a wave of nausea. I know I won’t make it 20 more floors to the lobby.

So I hit the next floor’s button and, as soon as the doors open, I bolt out of there.

I take a few deep breaths and catch the next lift down.

Some people think everything is about them.

Well. Apparently the woman took offense because, when I got to the lobby, she was waiting to tell me just that.

I explained that I was not feeling well. That my only choice was to be sick in front of her or leave.

I DID NOT imply this was because of her. She took it personally anyway.

The only perfume I can stand is my mom’s.

She took a step forward. At which point, her perfume filled my nostrils again. I instinctively took a step back. Wrong move.

Perfectly understandable. Also, some people have breathing difficulties from perfume.

She starts berating me for being rude.

I tell her: “Lady, I’m having a reaction to your perfume. Please give me some space.”

Fragrance can have the same ill effects no matter what the product is.

She claps back: “I’m not wearing perfume!”

I mean, whatever. Soap, shampoo… I’m not here to debate the finer details of her hygiene. I just don’t want to smell it.

This happened to me at a bus station once.

At this point she’s so close to me, my eyes are watering.

My mouth is filling up with saliva. I can feel my stomach acids crawling up my esophagus.

I know that if I just let go, I’m going to feel so much better.

How mortifying! Yet satisfying.

So I did. I let it rip.

I could have turned my head to hit the floor. But I did not. I hurled all over her chest.

I wiped my mouth and walked away. Left her standing there with my half-digested lunch oozing down between her ****.

Let’s see how the commenters felt about this story.

I want this on a t-shirt.

This is good to know.

I mean, you’re not wrong. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.

This comment section is full of hilarious lines like this one has. People are so clever!

I guess this skill could come in handy. I love how proud she is of her man.

If you don’t want to be courteous, prepare for some messy consequences!

Because this would ruin anyone’s day.

If you liked that post, check out this post about a woman who tracked down a contractor who tried to vanish without a trace.