As our society gets more and more accepting, we are seeing a lot more untraditional family models.
For the most part, this diversification of the family is amazing, as it lets people of all orientations and persuasions get the chance to raise a family of their own.
But it also can lead to some pretty messy family dynamics, as we can see in this user’s story.
After a menage-a-trois with a couple left the poster pregnant, there were soon a lot of tough questions about how much say the Father’s partner would have in the raising of their child.
Was she wrong for excluding the woman from the baby-naming process? See for yourself!
AITA for not letting my baby daddy’s fiancé name our baby?
My baby daddy Jasper (25M) and I(27F) had a ONS, I’m currently 24 weeks pregnant.
There was no cheating, but that’s not important for the story, for come clarification we had a threesome and I got pregnant.
Jasper’s fiancé, Maddy (23F) lost their first child a year ago, I can’t imagine going through child-loss and I’ve been trying to be accommodating to her.
But even though she was trying her best to understand where Maddy was coming from, she still had to lay a few ground rules…
First, she can’t treat me as a surrogate because I’m not.
This is Jasper and I’s kid. She’ll be the STEP-MOM, not the ADOPTIVE-MOM.
Second, she can’t be in the delivery room, I’m only allowed to have two people there and I chose to had Jasper and my mom.
She argued and she really tried to push it, she wanted me to have her and Jasper, I said no.
She wanted me to have her and my mom then, I said no.
I was clear that even if Jasper wasn’t in the room with me, she wouldn’t be allowed either way because I’m not comfortable.
And third, she can’t take big decisions for our kid on her own, she can suggest and she can ask. But she can’t take them unless is an emergency.
And good thing she set her rules, because she absolutely needed them when the subject of her baby’s name was brought up!
A few days ago we three went out to have dinner and Jasper asked if I had given any thought into our kids name.
I said yes and gave him a list, I told them they can add some names to it and then we three could discuss them and chose one.
Maddy told me she wanted to give the baby her dad’s name as a middle name since it was special to her.
I’ll be honest, I don’t like the idea because a family name (and a father’s one at that) seems very personal, and I didn’t like that she behaved like the decision was set.
Jasper didn’t seemed that fond of the idea either so I told her that, while we could consider it and think about it, I wasn’t sure.
But Maddy was not backing down about her choice of a name, and said OP was being “the mom police!”
Maddy got quite annoyed and said that it wasn’t fair that she wasn’t allow to have or say anything without passing it through the ”mom police” because this was her child too.
She can’t be in the delivery room, she won’t gave birth to them or have any legal rights and the least I could do is let her have the middle name.
Jasper tried to argue with her but Maddy refused, took her things and left us there. We stayed back for a while and he apologized for her before taking me back to my house.
But to her surprise, her Mom actually sided with Maddy!
My mom says that she understands Maddy’s point of view.
I’m having a child with her man after losing her own baby and she’s not allowed to do anything without me or Jasper saying yes first.
She said maybe I should let her have it since middle names doesn’t matter anymore. I still don’t want to entertain the idea but I want to ask anyway.
Now there is a situation I would NOT want to be in the middle of!
Reddit was left with their jaws on the floor, saying that it sounded like Jasper needed to put his foot down.
But other people said the comments were being too unfair to Maddy, especially considering all three of them were involved in the baby’s conception.
And this user said the internet was being characteristically unfair to Maddy, and that there was no way she could win in their eyes.
Finally, this user put it simply. The three of them created the baby, so the three of them are the parents!
Maybe Days of Our Lives should just follow OP around for a month.
Sounds like they’d have enough material for an entire season!
If you enjoyed that story, read this one about a mom who was forced to bring her three kids with her to apply for government benefits, but ended up getting the job of her dreams.