I’m sure that most security guards are fine people just trying to do their jobs, but my lord, I’ve encountered so many of them that are pretty awful and they think they’re making a big impact.

But I digress…

Check out this story from Reddit and see how this person made an eager security guard look like a real dummy.

Psychotic anti-theft security guard.

“I just walked out of the local megamart, having self-scanned 8 times… 3 pairs of some inflatable pool toys and a pair of mesh bags of like a thousand little chocolate eggs.

I guess if someone was watching not-too-carefully, my action of scanning the same item twice and then putting both in the bagging area may have looked suspicious.

No problem here!

But I had 8 times and the receipt had 8 items on it… 2 x 4 different things.

I was carrying this all with the mesh bags on the bottom, sort of hanging from fingers while the other 6 sturdy cardboard boxes were above them, supported by my hands.

It was quite a handful. This was a good configuration to avoid the eggs, had I piled them on top, from sliding off. It’s a long way down.

Here it comes…

I’d taken only a few steps out of the store when some psycho yellow-vested jerk comes running after me:

Psychotic Jerk: Sir, stop!

Me: What’s up?

PJ: Please put down the boxes

Me, still walking: Yeah, sure, my car is just over there.

PJ: Stop right there sir!

Me: My car is like 20 yards over there, follow me there and I’ll put it all down. The receipt is in my pocket.

PJ: Drop it now!

Drop it?! DROP IT? I’m armed with some chocolate eggs, two plastic donuts, two floating unicorns and two pool loungers? DROP IT?

You know what… sure. Staring at this fool in the face, I dropped it all from exactly where I was holding them, giving a gentle tug to the mesh of the eggs, hoping it’d break.

Look at that mess…

It did… and all of this stuff went slamming into the ground, the six box smashing some of the eggs, while all the rest scattered all over the place… and many starting instantly melting in the heat.

Seagulls appeared out out of nowhere.

I gingerly pulled out the receipt and showed it to him, picked up my stuff and walked to my car… but I took a picture of it, and might send a description of what happened to the store management.

Maybe they’ll care.

This is now your problem.

But I told the guy — hey, you better take care of getting that cleaned up — there may be dogs around, and that’s not good for them… come on man, hurry up, you’re so good a keeping it locked down — get on it!

I’m out $15.99 or whatever the eggs were, but I couldn’t care less.”

Let’s see what people had to say about this.

One reader shared their thoughts.

Another individual shared a story.

This person spoke up.

Another Reddit user chimed in.

And this person offered some advice.

This fella was on a power trip!

If you liked that post, check out this post about a woman who tracked down a contractor who tried to vanish without a trace.