Keeping your finances in order and up to date is essential.

Unfortunately, it can also be a hassle, which is why people often forget to make the updates when they should.

That is what happened in this story where OP’s ex-boyfriend passed away, leaving her a significant life insurance payout.

His family wants her to sign it over to them, but she is going to keep the money.

Check out the details to see if she is the AH or not.

AITA for not declining or signing over my portion of my ex bfs life insurance payout too his mom?

I recently learnt that my ex bf passed away of cancer in March.

His mom called me last week to inform me of his passing and to inform me that myself and her are listed as beneficiaries on his life insurance from his employer.

What a terrible situation, but I’m not sure the Mom is taking the right approach here.

She instantly tells me that she doesn’t know why he never changed it but I can decline or sign the cheque over to her once I receive it.

Instantly I am in shock, he’s gone?

And he left me on there? Why?

OP obviously knows that it was weird that her ex left her on the policy, which is the first ‘red flag’ that she is the AH.

I went back and forth wondering if this was on purpose or accidental.

It had been years, approximately 6 since we mutually civilly split up.

I was informed he had a new gf that lived with him and she has 2 kids from a previous relationship that threw a wrench into things more.

Is there a reason she never got put on it?

Yes. Yes, this was all just a big mistake. One which you could easily fix.

Was this all just a big mistake?

Today it has been 1 week and this has been very hard especially since his mom has been terrorizing me all week trying to get me to agree to give her this money.

I get that the Mother is going through a very painful time, but she doesn’t need to handle it like this.

She has said the most hurtful things, and has sent me the most disrespectful photos and video of her son in his last moments.

As of right now, I haven’t even gotten in touch with the insurance company.

I have no idea how much this is or if I need a lawyers help at this point.

Well today is the day I woke up knowing 100% I am keeping this money and I am not going to feel bad at all for helping my family with a gift my ex left for me.

That’s your conscience speaking. You know what you are doing is wrong.

Unfortunately, part of me still wonders if it’s the right thing to do by my ex and if these were his wishes in the end.

All these details are irrelevant. You know your ex didn’t mean to leave you the money.

A little info to add, my home burnt too the ground 3 years ago July 20th and October 1st 2 years ago my mom passed from cancer as well.

It has been a long hard few years and this money would literally buy myself a new bra for the first time in 3 years.

My little clan could really use this money and I think my ex knew that.

AITA?

OP is in a very difficult situation. It is always hard to turn down money, but I think we all know it would be the right thing to do.

In her defense though, the Mom is behaving poorly, which I’m sure makes it easier for OP to just keep the money.

The bottom line, however, is that OP is the AH (and I think she knows it).

Let’s see what other people have to say.

Great summary. OP can either keep the money or keep a clean conscience. Not both.

It seems like nobody buys OP’s idea that he intentionally left it to her.

Correct. This was just a dumb mistake and one that OP could easily fix for his deceased ex.

This is the best advice in the comments. OP needs to get legal advice no matter what she decides.

This comment is spot on. Mom is also the AH, but OP is way worse.

Just do the right thing and give the money back.

If you liked that story, read this one about grandparents who set up a college fund for their grandkid because his parents won’t, but then his parents want to use the money to cover sibling’s medical expenses.