It’s no big secret that little kids are gross. I mean it’s not like its their fault, they’re just not old enough to know better.
That’s why germaphobes are never kindergarten teachers, even if parents are supposed to be making sure their kids are as hygienic as possible before they go to school.
But not every parent is as concerned about their kids overall cleanliness as they should be, as this story shows all too well!
But instead of being reasonable, the neighbor completely ended their friendship! Did OP say something wrong?
Decide for yourself!
AITA for asking my neighbor not to send her kid over if he’s sick?
Sometimes I help my neighbor (Jessica) by caring for her five year old while she works from home with a 1 year old.
I genuinely enjoy her kiddo; Jack. I also work from home and have a 3 year old,Joe; so the boys are little buds. We’ve been neighbors since 2018 with zero history of even minor issues.
Now we aren’t exactly having game night together but we did celebrate each other’s pregnancies, survived the pandemic, and we do attend each other’s kid’s birthday parties.
And as I mentioned, I watch Jack occasionally.
And while OP never got paid for her babysitting, she said that money wasn’t even the issue.
When he comes over, I watch him for free, provide food and pay for any activities we do. Most recently I took Jack with us to an indoor gym.
I usually keep him 3-5 hours. I’ve never asked for money and she’s never offered. (This isn’t necessarily important but it’s not paid child care; just wanted to make that clear)
Well, here’s the problem- almost every time Jack comes over he is sick! Coughing, dripping nose… like no possible way Jessica didn’t know?
But Jack’s constant sickness was starting to spread throughout OP’s whole house!
Previously her baby had a diagnosis of hand, foot, mouth the day after Jack had been here. There’s no way her baby showed zero signs prior to diagnosis.
Multiple times, after watching Jack, my whole house has been sick.
We’ve missed work, we’ve had to spend money on doctors and medications, and we even missed Thanksgiving with my husband’s family.
OP tried to hold her tongue, eventually she had to have the conversation she’d been dreading…
Anyway- I’ve not said anything until today. (I know, I know- but she’s my neighbor and it felt awkward). So…It, uh, didn’t go well.
Me: “Hey girlie, I have to have a conversation with you, and it feels a bit awkward…
Four out of the past five times that we have watched Jack, Our entire home has gotten sick. A couple of times Joe has even asked Jack if he was sick again.”
She said she understood how hard working and being a Mom is… but she couldn’t keep missing work because of Jack’s illnesses!
“I totally get how hard it is with the kids in school and everything else.
But this is now the second or third time that one or both of us has missed work, had to pay for doctors appointments, and we’ve been generally miserably ill.
I know that that is not your intent, but on more than one occasion, Jack has been over when he is obviously ill…
And I just have to ask that if we are to watch him again, that he is either healthy or you are upfront about anything that may be going on.”
OP even told Jessica that Jack had admitted to being sick for days the last time he came over!
When he came over last and we went to the gym, he was coughing, and he had mucus dried to his face… I did ask him, and he told me he’d been sick for several days.
Prior to that it was the exposure to hand foot and mouth, it’s just so frustrating to want to hang out with Jack and want to help you but end up in a bad position nearly every single time.
We adore you guys and don’t want our relationship to be damaged in anyway, but we can’t keep getting sick.
But instead of taking any responsibility for her son’s health, Jessica had the audacity to be angry at OP!
Jessica: I honestly find this very offensive and I believe our friendship has ended
Me: What?
Jessica: There’s nothing to question end of story.
Guys, I’m genuinely confused- AITA here?
Absolutely NOT! If this were an isolated incident it would be a different story, but if you come down with something every time you watch him, that mean’s Jessica knows and simply doesn’t care!
Honestly, it makes me wonder what’s going on in Jessica’s house! How unsanitary and neglectful is she that her kids are sick week after week, to the point OP’s kids are noticing?
Reddit said that OP was well within her rights to ask Jessica to be mindful, but they also thought Jack’s sickness was the exact reason Jessica was sending him over!
This user said if daycares don’t take sick children than OP shouldn’t have to either.
Many thought Jessica showed her true colors through her response.
And finally, this user said OP dodged a bullet, and avoided being taken advantage of even further.
Yeah, she definitely knew what she was doing here.
If you liked that story, check out this post about a group of employees who got together and why working from home was a good financial decision.