Family is complicated, especially when it comes to your in-laws.
This woman’s husband is mad at her for something his mom did while they were with the kids.
Here’s the full story…
AITA for failing to stop my MIL buying ‘landfill’ for my kids at a funfair?
I went to a local funfair with my kids & mother in law (MIL). We decided to walk around looking at all the rides before deciding what to go on.
MIL had forgotten her wallet so it would be me buying any rides. (This let me relax about the sometimes tricky dynamic of who is paying for what.)
As we walked past a prize stall (pay money to win a prize), MIL commented in shock at the high price & I agreed.
They thought they had an agreement…
At the next ride, my husband joined us. He & I were chatting when we noticed that MIL had gone back to the previous prize stall with the kids.
He asked urgently what I had agreed with her about that stall, & I (slightly confused at his urgency) remembered we had both thought it overpriced.
I knew she didn’t have money on her so I assumed they had just gone back to look.
We have disagreed with MIL many times about her excessive (in our view) gifts for the kids. Each visit she buys toys which soon get discarded, or more sweets & snacks than the kids can eat.
They have their reasons…
This is important to us because (a) we want to teach the kids moderation & value rather than excessive disposable expenditure, (b) we are worried about the environment & the excess of toys contributes to landfill, (c) while she has the right to use her money, the amount spent on this stuff feels wasteful when it could be used for more lasting things for the kids.
Back to the fun fair.
My husband insisted I tell him what I had “agreed” with MIL. We hadn’t agreed anything, I told him. We agreed it was priced too high?
I then noticed she had taken out her phone to pay using her contactless payment.
Husband said he didn’t want her buying it, & I said he should go tell her. He insisted he didn’t want to do that before finding out what I had agreed with her.
I told him if he could see what was happening he should go & stop her.
He didn’t like this…
By now it was finished & I said look it’s done now, it’s her money to spend & if she wants to have fun with the kids by spending £15 on a prize stall that’s up to her, & that I hadn’t “agreed” anything with her as I believed she had forgotten her wallet.
After we got home he picked a huge fight with me, telling me he was really distressed by the landfill of the prizes (the toys are already falling apart), & the repeated messages this kind of spending sends to the kids about the value of things.
His main complaint at me is that when we first saw the stall before he joined us, he insists I should have told MIL not to buy it for the kids, & the facts that (a) I believed she had no means of paying & (b) had commented on how overpriced it was were not relevant, I still should explicitly have said that we didn’t want her to buy anything.
I think this is unreasonable & would have made things really awkward at what was supposed to be a fun outing.
He says it’s my fault that MIL spent her money on poor quality prizes which will be landfill by next week.
Was it my fault?
Let’s see what Reddit thinks…
This commenter thinks the husband is in the wrong.
Another Reddit user says it’s not her job.
Several commenters pointed out the husband’s toxic behavior.
While this user thinks everyone is in the wrong!
Sounds like communication is key in this situation.
If you liked that story, check out this post about a group of employees who got together and why working from home was a good financial decision.