Parenting can be hard even in the best of situations.
When you have to co-parent with an ex, it creates even more challenges.
When that ex is…less than dependable, it can become impossible to ensure everything goes right.
In this story, OP’s unreliable ex not only missed their daughter’s birthday but actually blamed him for it and tried to make him feel bad.
Read on for the details.
AITA for not pretending that a gift was from my ex wife or reminding her it was the kids birthday
I used to be married a few years ago.
It was not a happy marriage and we divorced.
These things happen. Hopefully Mom still puts their kids first at least.
She needed to go back to work after the divorce and her quality of life isn’t where it was when we were married.
Due to this she hasn’t handled the transition well and I got primary custody.
She sees them on weekends.
It was my middle child’s birthday yesterday.
I guess she doesn’t put them first. How hard is it to at least make a phone call or text (at the absolute minimum)?
She got zero calls from mom, no present was dropped off, and mom didn’t go to the party.
She was invited.
Of course she noticed, she was undoubtedly heartbroken.
Our daughter is 12 years old and noticed right away.
She was not happy at all and apparently mom had promised her that she would at least call.
My daughter sent quite a mad message to her and is ignoring any messages form her mom at the moment.
Wait..what? The ex is mad at OP and not herself!?
My ex gave me a call pissed.
She called me a a**hole for not reminding her at the minimum and that I could have pretended a gift was from her.
I told be it is not my problem and it’s not my fault she can’t remember basic things.
I don’t know if I went to far.
AITA?
Wow. This Mom is entitled and has the nerve to blame her own mistakes on Dad?
And to make it worse, OP obviously did remind his ex of the birthday since he invited her to the party!
What more could he have done?
I’m all for doing everything you can to protect your kids from problems, but how was Dad even supposed to know that Mom was going to fail so spectacularly?
Dad is absolutely not the AH, but Mom certainly is.
Let’s see if the comments on Reddit agree with my assessment.
It is hard to know whether it is a good thing or not to lie to protect your kids.
Yeah, you can’t protect your kids from everything, unfortunately.
Exactly. The invite to the party should have been more than enough of a reminder.
True. I mean dates can slip our minds sometimes, but your kid’s birthday should be a priority.
Yes, Dad can’t keep track of his ex’s social calendar to make sure the kids make it on. Come on.
Mom needs to start making the kids a priority.
If you enjoyed that story, read this one about a mom who was forced to bring her three kids with her to apply for government benefits, but ended up getting the job of her dreams.