Splitting up holidays when your parents are divorced can be complicated.
For this teenager, it seemed obvious that he would spend Father’s Day with his, well, father! But his step-dad has other plans.
Let’s hear the full story…
AITA saying I will not spend Father’s Day with my stepfather instead of my dad?
My parents divorced 10 years ago. My mom got remarried 8 years ago. For the last 3 years I (17M) have lived with my dad and I spend one weekend a month at my mom’s house.
Before that it was 50/50. But regardless of the custody split I always spent Mother’s Day with my mom and Father’s Day with my dad.
That didn’t change just because she got remarried. But this year my mom is planning a special day out of my stepfather and he wants me to spend Father’s Day with him/them, which includes my four half siblings.
He had an answer immediately…
I said no. My stepfather told me I always spend Father’s Day with my dad and I live with him now, and hardly ever see him and my mom.
And that this is a big year because it’s the first year with our “completed family” and the last one before I’m finished high school and I should invest in time with my family but especially him, because I never let him in as a second dad and always treat him like he’s just my mom’s husband.
He went on and on about how much he wants to connect with me and to feel like I appreciate him as a fatherly presence in my life.
He told me the day would be fun too so it’s not like he’s dragging me fishing or to sit watching paint dry.
His step-dad kept trying…
He told me I could easily celebrate both of them, just on different days, and my dad’s plans are always easier to do another day but this special day out relies on certain Father’s Day activities.
I kept saying no. I didn’t reconsider at any point.
My mom asked me to do it for just this one year. She told me it meant so much to my stepfather. I told her I wanted to be with my dad on Father’s Day.
When my stepfather asked me again I told him I won’t spend Father’s Day with him over my dad and he needs to accept that because my mind is not changing.
He told me being so absolute about this is not showing me in a very good light right now.
AITA?
Let’s get into the comments…
This commenter relates, but still thinks OP is right.
Another user has a suggestion!
This commenter has some choice words for step dad.
And this person has some sympathy for step-dad, but still agrees with OP.
Father’s Day should be spent with whoever is the true father figure in your life.
Seems like OP knows exactly what he should do!
If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a daughter who invited herself to her parents’ 40th anniversary vacation for all the wrong reasons.