There is no shortage of discourse these days on the equitable division of labor in relationships, whether it be working for a paycheck, caring for children, managing the home, or doing the nitty gritty physical grind.

There is no right answer, of course; the right answer is what works for an individual couple, allowing them both to feel valued and appreciated and happy at home.

Let’s take a look at a story on Reddit about just this type of situation.

AITA for telling my wife she takes me for granted and to stop digging me out for “not doing enough”

For context our son just turned 12 months, and my wife returns to work tomorrow after a year off of work.

We are very fortunate as I work for a blue chip and make 6 figures but often that means working away or 50-60 hour weeks.

His wife decided – or they decided, unclear – that she would work only part-time and take care of their son the rest of the time.

So we have agreed that rather than her return full time and put our son in nursery, she would only work 2 days per week and help raise our son 5 days per week.

He gets irked when she asks him to do a parenting duty when he’s tired, and he thinks that because he cooks and she doesn’t really have to clean, it’s really her responsibility.

I get really irked when my wife scoffs at me after she tries to assign me a job to do via a disingenuous question – for example this afternoon, I asked if our son was due a nap and she replied “yes, do you want to walk him around the block?”

I am pretty tired after catering at his birthday party yesterday, so I said “do you want to take him?”

An argument ensued re how I don’t do enough to help her with our son, with my main point being that she is our sons “primary” care give and;

A) you’ve not worked for 12 months B) you aren’t returning to work full time C) we now pay her parents to clean our house (affordable due to my work).

Who is right?

For context, I like to cook, so I cook all our dinners.

As I say, cleaning is taken care of by somebody else…

I’ve always helped with our son, whether it’s changing nappies or feeding time etc. admittedly she does much more than me (particularly whilst she was breast feeding), but she quipped my view on us parenting is like something from the “dark ages”…

Am I the a****** here? Feels like a cake and eat it situation…

I don’t think either of them are going to like the answer.

The top comment says neither of them seem to be at their best right now.

There seems to be an issue with trying to put on each other’s shoes.

This person thinks he seems pretty unappreciative of what his wife is doing.

Everyone deserves some time off now and again.

They’re supposed to be on the same team here.

This marriage is not currently a happy place.

All too common in the first years after becoming parents, I’m afraid.

If you liked that post, check out this story about a guy who was forced to sleep on the couch at his wife’s family’s house, so he went to a hotel instead.