She’s Tired Of Her Adopted Sister’s Attention-Seeking Antics, So She’s Going Ahead With An Important Family Event Without Her

Matthew Gilligan

5 months ago

Source: Reddit/AITA/Pexels

Family dynamics are complicated, my friends.

You know that, I know that, we all know that!

The woman who wrote this story on Reddit also knows that…but she still wants to know if she’s being insensitive.

Check out what she had to say…

AITA for not caring if my adopted sister feels included?

“I (23F) have a biological brother (24) and an adopted sister (27). She was adopted when I was a year old and she was around 4.

For most of my life, my sister received all the attention from our parents and my brother and I were just there. My parents would bend over backwards to make sure she felt like a part of the family, which is great, except they didn’t bother to make my brother and I feel included.

When she was 19, we found her biological family and they have a great relationship now. But I feel like this completely ruined our own family dynamic.

She’s not happy about this.

Our dad passed away 5 years ago, and it seems like she just moved on from our dad to the other dad and is also slowly moving on from our family to her biological family.

Her biological mum’s side also seems to have a problem with us because we are white and my sister is black so everytime we try to be involved in activities, there are always jabs at us and I think they encourage her to become distant from us.

My mum still acts like my sister is the centre of our world though. The last two Thanksgivings, we had to have family Thanksgiving dinner days before because my sister was going to have Thanksgiving with her bio family.

Same for the previous Christmas, we exchanged gifts by the 20th, and my sister didn’t even bring my nephew as he was at his bio grandma’s.

This has been in the works…

My final straw has been a trip we had been planning in honour of my dad. On the 5 year anniversary of his passing, we were going to plant an orchard in a certain African country my dad worked and lived in for years and we visited many times.

Planting this was something my dad had planned before he passed away and had it planned to a T, so we would only be executing his plan. We had agreed that the 5 year anniversary felt like the perfect time.

Except now, my sister’s biological sister will be getting married around the same time ( not same day), but it means my sister can only join us after the actual anniversary day.

My mum says it’s okay, we can plant the trees a week or two later, and she actually said that when we plant the trees doesn’t make much difference we’ll still be honoring him, but that my sister will only ever get to attend her sister’s wedding once.

She says it’s a week’s worth of work anyway, so it’s not like we were going to be done on the actual day.

She’s had enough.

This made me mad and I have told them I will be breaking the ground on the actual anniversary day with or without any of them. She said I was being inconsiderate and that I should think about how this will make my sister feel like she doesn’t matter to the family.

My sister has been part of our family the same amount of time I have been, only she can exclude herself. My brother keeps flip-floping between coming with me to be there for the anniversary, or waiting for my mum and sister some days later and I honestly can’t also blame him.

AITA for insisting I am not waiting on anyone? The trip is in 2 months.”

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