Whatever you say, Mom…
Did you ever find yourself saying that when you were a kid?
A lot of us did!
But the person you’re going to hear from took things to a whole new level.
Check out what they did!
Trim the hedges!
“Growing up was very interesting as my parents were divorced and I had ADHD (or whatever they’re calling it this week).
Not so much hyper, but definitely the ADD and that led to a lot of malicious compliance on my part.
Here’s one…
As a teenager, my parents were divorced, and money was an issue… so no allowance to do the things teenagers like to do.
This also meant no car, no insurance… you get the idea.
I watched some friends work minimum wage jobs and didn’t like that idea… so instead… I found a lawnmower and started mowing lawns.
Not bad!
I lived in a middle-class neighborhood so 5-6 lawns ($20 a pop) a weekend would give you some nice spending cash in the 90’s.
One ‘customer’ a few streets away asked me to trim his hedges for him. I didn’t know how or have the tools, but he did. He showed me what he expected and I made it happen.
They looked GREAT. He was so happy he gave me $100. In today’s money that would be about $250.
When I got home I excited told my mom what happened.
My mom, as wonderful as she was, misunderstood life in general.
In her mind, if you fixed a car issue, suddenly you were the car expert and knew everything about cars.
Same thing with cooking, computers, audio/video and yard work.
Uhhhh…
She proceeded to tell me to do the same for the bushes in front of our house.
I tried to tell her I didn’t have the tools and was only following his instructions.
They weren’t hedges… but she was adamant I do it… to the point she starts screaming at me.
What would any 16 year old teenager do?
This’ll do!
Go grab our replica samurai sword (sharp as all) and start to hack away at the bushes in front of our house.
Now my neighbors knew my mom had unrealistic expectations from previous events, but even this was odd.
One of our neighbors came over asking me in a heavy southern accent:
Neighbor: “What in tha heck are you doin’?”
Me: “Cut someone’s hedges and mom suddenly thinks I know how to trim bushes.”
Neighbor: “Ah, that again. You uh… want to borrow some powered clippers?”
Me: “Nope”. I’m steaming mad at the moment.
Mom hearing the neighbor comes out and sees her bushes partially mangled.
Mom: “Wha… what the heck are you doing?!?”
Me: “Trimming the bushes” as I proceeded to whack a few more.
Mom: “I meant how you’re supposed to!”
Me: “Sure” *whack* “With what tools?” *whack* “I’m a genius right?” *whack* “I trim someones hedges” *whack* “so I must be able to magically trim bushes” *whack*
Mom looks befuddled as I continue to hack away using a replica samurai sword.
Your work is done here…
Neighbor steps in patting me on the back and says “I think she got the message” as I turn to look at her with a shocked/befuddled look on her face.
I took my shirt and cleaned the now dented blade and walked inside to go take a shower.
I’d love to say this kind of behavior stopped, but it never did. She also never asked me to trim the bushes again.”
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Another person made a good point…
Is this how you wanted it done, Mom…?
I don’t think that was the result she imagined.
If you liked that post, check out this story about a guy who was forced to sleep on the couch at his wife’s family’s house, so he went to a hotel instead.