Bridesmaid Decided To Drop Out After Another Family Member Was Booted, But Now She Refuses To Give Her Dress Back And Her Mom Is Furious

Heather Hall

4 months ago

Being asked to play a role in someone’s wedding is special, especially if that person is family and you want to strengthen your bond with them.

So, how would you react if another family member was kicked out of the wedding party without notice due to personal health reasons? Would you understand and stay in the wedding? Or would you be upset and refuse to take part in the wedding?

In today’s story, a woman finds herself in this exact situation and decides to drop out. Let’s see what happened.

AITA for not giving my bridesmaid dress away

Backstory: my cousin “Mary” (who I was never close to) got engaged and asked her bridal party a month or 2 in. I wasn’t asked, didn’t care as we’re not close.

My other cousin “Lisa” (who has cancer) was the matron of honor – no surprise here; they were always close. Marys sister-in-law to be is the maid of honor.

I was also never close to Lisa either and actually had not spoke to her for almost 6 years but when she got sick, I reached out with no motive beyond wanting her to know I was thinking of her.

Time has a way of changing things.

Edit to clarify: Lisa is older than Mary. I am younger than both. Lisa and Mary always left me out growing up.

I did not attend Lisa’s wedding years ago due to family drama and as a result did not speak to her for about 5/6 years.

When I heard Lisa was sick, I reached out.

We began talking and at this point speak almost every day. Both of us seem to have put the past behind us.

Mary gets engaged late summer/early fall 2023. I congratulated her but also didn’t think I’d be invited to the wedding given we don’t talk.

Conflicting schedules and motives can create problems.

Fast forward 2 more months, I got a random call from Mary asking if I wanted to be a bridesmaid.

I was surprised but agreed, figuring I’d get to spend time with Lisa and maybe create an adult cousin relationship with them both.

Two weeks later, Mary sends a text to Lisa kicking her out due to her “having a lot going on due to having cancer and being unable to do wedding stuff”. I also drop out because I felt used and like a replacement.

When dropping out, I offered to give the dress (which I bought) to my replacement. I never heard anything so I donated the dress.

Here’s where things took an ugly turn.

This week, I get a text from the sister-in-law asking for the dress (not offering to pay for the dress, just asking me to send it to her house and she would pay for shipping).

I said I donated it and I’m accused of conspiring with Lisa when giving my response.

So I told them what I really thought of them kicking Lisa out of the wedding.

The response was extreme: stating that me (and the rest of my family) have mental illness, calling me stupid and unable to think for myself etc.

I am also the AH according to this side of my family and everyone is mad at me for saying what I thought of kicking Lisa out.

My mom has completely sided against me.

AITA?

Yikes! Planning a wedding does take a lot of time, but kicking someone out with cancer is a bit heartless.

Let’s see what Reddit users had to say about this story.

Here is some excellent advice.