Family drama, anyone? When parents remarry and create a big blended family, there’s bound to be tension.
But when this teen’s dad tells him to cut off his maternal relatives to appease his stepkids, things really come to a head.
She and his don’t want to give up their extended family for their step-siblings’ happiness.
Is it fair for Dad to expect them to, though?
Read the story!
AITA for asking my dad why his stepkids and my half siblings are more important to him than me and my sister?
I (17m) have a complicated blended family history that I should try to explain.
Dad and Mom had me and my sister Kali (15f). Mom died when Kali was 3 and I was 5. Dad was never that close to his family but Mom was close to hers and Kali and I were close to them too. Dad was not.
Noted.
My dad’s wife had her oldest (13) before she got married for the first time. With her ex husband she had two kids (10 and 9). During her first marriage she and her husband took in his nieces (12 and 8).
Her ex-husband and his whole family got arrested and her nieces didn’t know their father. So she kept them and raised them (with my dad).
She also took custody of her nephew (7) while she and my dad were dating. I could be a little off on the timeline. This stuff happened but of course I didn’t know her during most of it.
Now they have a 4 and 3 year old together. And they’ve been married for 6 years (they only dated for 14 or 15 months and she started dating dad while she was in the middle of her divorce).
This is a lot to keep track of!
Of all the kids in our house, my sister and I are the only ones with extended family in our lives, our maternal grandparents and aunts, uncles and cousins.
Dad’s parents didn’t want anything to do with kids that weren’t blood so Dad finally stopped all contact with his family, though his family never cared much for Kali or me either.
His wife’s parents are dead and her brother isn’t around for his son and the mother of his son and her family aren’t involved.
Her ex husband’s family are all still in prison and the father of his nieces are still unknown.
My maternal family doesn’t want to be involved in the others, just Kali and me, which annoys my dad and annoys his wife and the kids get upset because they want to have more people too.
They want to go to BBQs and grandparent sleepovers and cousin sleepovers. But just Kali and I get that.
It’s become such a huge deal that my dad and his wife tried to tell Kali and me we couldn’t see our family as much.
Oh no no no.
And they tried to take advantage of Covid by making us all do family things together in the hope we wouldn’t tolerate the other kids being excluded if we loved them more than we loved our maternal side. It didn’t work.
Dad told Kali and me recently he was putting his foot down and we were not to talk to our family anymore.
He said he were a bad influence and taught us to close off our hearts to our family.
He said he never should have let things continue this long. He said it wasn’t fair to the other kids and what they’re going through.
I asked him why his stepkids and his younger bio kids are more important to him than Kali and me, why is their happiness and their wants more important.
Dad told me I wasn’t being logical or fair to him. I told him we didn’t owe them cutting off our family for them.
I told him he should be putting us first too.
That we’re still his and we don’t have another parent to advocate for us.
He told me I should show more compassion and love for my siblings. Not just Kali.
AITA?
In the end, a family shouldn’t have to cut ties with some relatives to satisfy others.
Maybe Dad is the one who needs to open his heart and mind here. Reddit, what do you think?
This person says Dad isn’t being fair.
This person agrees–Dad can’t force them to do anything.
This person suggests a wild alternative.
Sounds like he’s not cutting his family ties without a fight!
If you enjoyed that story, read this one about a mom who was forced to bring her three kids with her to apply for government benefits, but ended up getting the job of her dreams.