Everyone’s wedding is different, and that’s great!
They’re meant to be a reflection of the couple and their love on their special day.
There is some amount of concern for the happiness of your guests is normal, but when people who are attending start to make demands, it’s ok to tell them to back up.
Read more to find out why this bride has decided not to meet every guests dietary needs this time around.
AITA for refusing to change catering services to accommodate my vegan, gluten free cousin?
My fiance “Daniel” and I are in the process of planning our wedding.
We recently decided on a catering service that we thought was the best option within our price range that would satisfy all of our guests’ dietary needs.
Most significantly, Daniel’s brother has a tree nut allergy, so we needed a service that would accommodate that, which limited our options.
She didn’t comment when her cousin let her know her needs had changed.
About a week ago, my cousin “Meredith” reached out to me letting me know she is now eating vegan and gluten free for health reasons.
Meredith is known to hop on trends only to move onto something else the next month, whether it be clothes, food, etc., so I highly doubt she will still be vegan and gluten free by the time the wedding rolls around.
Still, we had not finalized our menu yet, so I sent her the catering website and asked her to pick what she wanted.
But when the cousin didn’t like the choices she was given, she demanded more.
A few minutes later, Meredith informed me that the only vegan gluten free entree was a mushroom dish and said “you KNOW I despise mushrooms.” (I had no idea. I also had no idea she was vegan and gluten free.)
She asked if there was another catering company I could use.
I told her no–both Daniel and I looked through the menus for companies that satisfied all dietary needs of our guests and picked the one we liked the most.
I didn’t say this, but it’s also a matter of principle and not just which food we like–asking us to change our catering service to accommodate her WANT, not her need, is incredibly self-centered and if I agreed, I would be reinforcing crappy behavior.
She complained, “everyone’s needs but mine” and I retorted, “Your needs are met. If you do not like mushrooms perhaps you can eat beforehand.”
The poster informed her if she didn’t care for the options she could eat beforehand or not come.
I thought that would be the end, but the next morning I woke up to several messages from Meredith with links to catering companies.
A lot of them were all vegan or all gluten free (I am NOT subjecting my guests to a vegan or gluten free wedding), and some of them were companies Daniel and I had looked at.
I told Meredith my decision was final and that if she pressed more I would uninvite her from my wedding.
She has not bothered me since.
Her fiance thinks maybe she could have been kinder.
I asked Daniel what he thought, since he is my voice of reason, and he said that I shouldn’t have threatened to uninvite Meredith over some text messages.
He even said that if she just really hated mushrooms and had no real reason to be vegan or gluten free, we could pick a different place and it wasn’t a big deal.
It’s easier for us to change so early in the process, and there were lots of other options we liked. I told him it’s not just about the food or the hassle of change–it’s about principle.
Daniel said if I was really that petty and just wanted to teach Meredith a lesson, I should let it go.
Does not changing the catering company make me an AH?
I don’t know, this lady seems pretty entitled.
Let’s see what Reddit tells her!
The top comment reminds the bride it’s her day.
They think this diet might not go all that well.
There’s always at least one.
It’s not the bride’s problem.
Maybe she’ll learn and maybe she won’t.
I can’t imagine being this pushy at someone else’s wedding.
Good for this bride for standing her ground.
If you liked that post, check out this post about a rude customer who got exactly what they wanted in their pizza.