It’s hard to see extended family members, or anyone really, not live up to their potential.

So you can understand why this guy decided to step in to help out his nephew.

But not everyone sees it that way…

Did he do anything wrong?

Read on and see what you think.

AITA for “breaking up” my nephew’s family by helping him go away to university?

“My (42M) sister (6yr older) passed away 6 years ago, leaving one son, “Jeff”, (11 at the time) and her husband, “Scott.”

I live in the same city and have always been close with my nephew, as, he, like me, is a precocious mathematician and coder.

I got along fine with Scott, though he always struck me as a bit of a weak personality and not an intellectual match for my formidable and successful sister. She wore the pants in that marriage.

He saw an opportunity.

Since her passing, I stepped up my time with Jeff and continued to help him pursue enrichment in math/CS. 3yrs ago, Scott married “Jane”, who brought with her 2 daughters (now 9 and 11).

Later, they had a son together (now 2). It has not gone well for Jeff. Jane dominates Scott, and has pushed the “blended family” hard. Jeff has little in common with his sisters or Jane.

I’d guess he’s got at least 25 IQ points on anybody in that house. Jane has also pushed him to be involved in her church, much to Jeff’s annoyance (my sister was vocally atheist and Jeff is not into religion either). He spends as much time at my house as he can get away with.

The kid is under a lot of pressure.

When it was time for Jeff to apply to college, his parents were insisting that he only consider commuting to one of two universities close to home, because, “if you leave, you won’t ever bond with your siblings” and because, “you should help out at home.”

They also objected to the cost, though my sister left a lot of money and a fully paid-off house behind. Much of this has been used to pay for a bigger house to accommodate the new family and for the stepkids’ private schools (lesson:leave your inheritance to a trust for your kids!).

Jeff secretly applied to his mother’s alma mater, a top Ivy League school, and got in. Jane was furious and she and Scott said they wouldn’t pay for him to go. I happen to be successful, rich, and childless.

He decided to step in.

I told them and Jeff that I would pay (I can afford it easily). His parents flipped out on him and me, and things have been tense for the last few months. They continue to pressure Jeff not to go away to school, to the point that they ALSO put down a deposit for him at the local university.

When it became clear that Jeff was really going, Jane pivoted to complaining that if I am paying for Jeff’s education, I should make the same contribution to her other kids, to which I replied that I am not related to her, her husband or her other kids; I am related to Jeff, the son of the person whom I was closest to for much of my life.

Jeff turns 18 in two weeks and I have offered to let him move in with me for this summer (and future summers, if necessary).

Jane has been berating me for “trying to break up her family” and Scott has been less strident but has asked me to consider Jane’s feelings.

AITA?”

Here’s how people reacted on Reddit.

This person said he’s NTA.

Another individual agreed.

This Reddit user shared their thoughts.

This person spoke up.

And another individual spoke up.

Sounds to me like he’s doing a good deed.

If you liked that story, read this one about grandparents who set up a college fund for their grandkid because his parents won’t, but then his parents want to use the money to cover sibling’s medical expenses.