As someone with diagnosed attention deficit issues, it keeps me from doing a lot of things, like staying focused, managing my times, and staying motivated – just to name a few.
But my ADHD keeping me from getting a job? Now that’s some mental gymnastics that even Simone Biles would have a hard time doing!
So when this user’s in-law told her that her ADHD kept her from getting a job to pay rent, and demanded to live with her and her husband, they were shocked when she refused!
Was she being too harsh on her husband’s family? Decide for yourself!
AITA for refusing to allow cousin-in-law & his family to move in when they’re about to be homeless?
My husband’s cousin Chris and his wife Rachel have 3 kids (13, 5, 3), and we’ve hung out twice since our daughter (7.5) was born. We’re not close.
Rachel’s always been rude to me. Before my husband met me, Rachel had a thing for him and tried to date him.
He never reciprocated and then when we became official, Rachel started dating Chris.
And when Rachel and Chris needed help, and who did they call but her and her husband….
Chris called asking if they can move in with us as they’re homeless.
They missed rent payments and got evicted and have been couch surfing with their three kids for the past month or so.
My husband said he would need to talk to me first.
My immediate response was NO. Husband agreed although he felt bad.
Chris’s family had been giving them money to make their rent payments and instead of paying rent, they used the money for other things.
Chris works odd construction jobs and doesn’t make much. Rachel claims she can’t work because of ADHD.
Unsurprisingly, Chris was not too happy with his cousin when he gave him his answer.
Chris called back – husband apologized and said we don’t have the space – Chris tried to say we have 5 bedrooms.
My husband clarifies that we don’t – we have 4, one of which is my office.
Chris says he’s disappointed and he would’ve helped us. My husband says I WFH and need the house to be quiet.
Chris says he doesn’t understand where we get the impression that their kids can’t be quiet and he’s offended.
Rachel says we have the money and a big house to help but that we would rather see three kids end up on the streets because I’M greedy.
She shot back at Rachel, saying that she wasn’t the reason for her and Chris’ financial troubles…
I snap and tell her that her kids are not my responsibility and I’m not comfortable sharing my home with strangers.
It’s not our problem that they mismanaged their finances and that maybe she shouldn’t have gotten her nails done every week and paid their rent instead.
She responded that I don’t understand how hard they have it because I’m “privileged” and providing for three kids isn’t cheap.
So I said maybe she should get a job and stop using ADHD as an excuse, and they should’ve thought of that before having kids and hung up.
Soon her in-laws had turned his entire family against the both of them…
Husband’s phone starts blowing up with calls from family members. He picks up Chris’s dad’s (Paul) call.
Paul wants to know why we’re unwilling to help.
I ask him why he and his wife haven’t opened their home as this is his son and grandkids after all.
He says Chris/Rachel and the kids stayed for a week but their house is too small and it didn’t work out.
I told him that we aren’t close to Chris/Rachel and have no obligation to them, and I suggested he and his wife reopen their home to their son and grandkids.
But it sounded like her father-in-law wasn’t too keen to have them in his house either!
He says they did open their home and now it’s our turn. I laughed and hung up.
So now my husband’s family thinks that we’re cruel and heartless.
We also haven’t disclosed that I’m pregnant which is also a big reason: they’re anti-vax and I don’t want to be exposed.
I’ll be going on maternity leave for a year as of January so we’re trying to save up.
AITA?
So let me get this straight, Rachel “can’t” get a job because of ADHD, and it’s her and her husband’s fault that they can’t afford rent?
Sounds like some serious entitlement, not to mention projection!
Reddit told her to hold firm, and this user said that from his own experience, she had made the right move…
This person said it was different if she believed they had a plan to get back on their feet.
Many people pointed out that ADHD isn’t an excuse for unemployment.
Finally, this person said that it wasn’t like she was their only family member, and to keep asking her husband’s family why the family couldn’t stay with them.
Pick getting your nails done over paying rent?
Now you have to live with the consequences!
If you thought that was an interesting story, check out what happened when a family gave their in-laws a free place to stay in exchange for babysitting, but things changed when they don’t hold up their end of the bargain.