Many traditional stay-at-home wives stay out of their husband’s business.
They mostly focus on taking care of their children, managing home-related stuff, and preparing the daily needs of their family.
So, when OP’s husband discovered that his wife was keeping a record of all her contributions to the family business, basically, a contingency plan if everything went south, he was furious!
Read the full story below and you tell us if OP is being a jerk for doing this.
AITA for keeping score of everything I’ve ever done for my husband?
I’m a woman in my late 50s, married to my husband who is in his early 60s. We’ve been married for 30 odd years.
I have fulfilled the role of a ‘traditional’ wife for much of our marriage, and I left paid work soon into our marriage.
My husband is very successful in his business, and we live comfortably. All our children are adults now.
My husband built his business from the ground up, and I was instrumental to the early success which set it up to be what it is today.
OP’s son has issues with his wife’s perspective of a “traditional wife.”
We were having lunch with our children, when my son mentioned that his wife didn’t want to be a ‘trad wife’ and do what I did to raise the kids.
She raised concerns about how vulnerable a position it is, and that she doesn’t want to solely depend on him for money.
He wanted me to talk to her and convince her by telling her how it worked out for me.
He said it worked for his parents, so it should work for them.
I said I understood where she was coming from, and being a housewife is incredibly risky and vulnerable, especially if he leaves her, and she’s been out of the labour force for a while.
He countered that it had worked for his father and I because I trusted him as my husband to provide for me.
And why couldn’t his wife do the same?
OP revealed that her “secret” plan.
I told him I have a meticulous record of all contributions I have ever made to the family business—recently digitised with the help of my daughter.
So that, if the worst ever happened, I wouldn’t be relying on the mercy of a man to feed myself.
I told him I have made many contingency plans over the years to minimise the risk of being a housewife, and compensate for my lack of pension and benefits I’d have had had I not left the labour force.
But, apparently, her husband was appalled by it.
My son and husband were angered by this.
Both said it showed a lack of trust, and my husband especially feels I’ve had ‘one foot out the door’ our entire marriage, and that my ‘little escape plan’ included plans to ‘shaft him of his business’.
I told him the fact that he refers to it as ‘his’ business rather than ‘ours’ is exactly why I kept those records, and why I won’t be telling my daughter-in-law to do what she doesn’t want to do.
AITA?
What do you think about the story? Let’s see how other people reacted to this.
Here’s a good and sensible insight from this user.
Another insightful comment from this one.
This user says the husband’s reaction says a lot about him.
Yup, this is exactly what it is.
Finally, this user thinks OP is just being smart.
Surprise! Surprise! I’m not as clueless as you think.
If you liked that post, check out this story about a guy who was forced to sleep on the couch at his wife’s family’s house, so he went to a hotel instead.