Imagine navigating the delicate waters of a blended family where everyone gets along, but expectations run high.

In this story, enter a dad, who is a widower, who remarried a wonderful woman after losing his first wife to cancer.

He has a son who was just six at the time of his mother’s death, and despite everyone’s predictions, this boy still calls his stepmom by her first name.

What do you think? Is there room for compromise, or should they finally let it go?

AITA for telling my brother and SIL to respect my nephew’s wishes?

When my brother and SIL met, my brother was a widower with a 6 year old son. My late SIL passed away after having cancer for 3 years.

My nephew remembers her but he remembers the unwell version of her, not the woman she was before.

She was very sick, but she always made time for my nephew and tried to pack as much into her final years as she could with him. Even if it was just snuggling up in bed and watching movies together.

So bittersweet.

Late SIL’s family were all very accepting and happy for my brother when he met SIL.

They have a positive relationship with SIL and they see each other frequently. My family and I all get along great with SIL.

With all this, most people, especially my brother and SIL, expected my nephew to call SIL mom eventually.

They expected him to be open to adoption. Even more when SIL and my brother had two more children together.

But my nephew still calls her “Sarah” and he introduces her as his stepmom to others. When they asked him about SIL adopting him, he said no.

For two years now my brother and SIL have twisted themselves up a lot about this.

My nephew is 15 now. They asked him first when he was 8.

It’s not just his no to adoption but also the fact he never calls her mom. Never even slipped and said it once.

When he says mom he means my late SIL. She is the only mom he talks about.

If he talks about SIL she’s either her name or stepmom.

The truth is a hard pill to swallow.

Some family members have asked him about this and have tried to encourage him to call SIL mom and to consider the adoption.

They have told him how amazing and special it would be, how his mom would have wanted that for him.

But his opinion has not changed.

My brother and SIL went to therapy with my nephew and the therapist encouraged them to accept what my nephew wants and to end this campaign for adoption and the name mom to be used.

I talked to my nephew a few weeks ago and he told me he hates how much of a debate this has turned into.

He told me none of the family listens and while his mom’s side don’t push him, they have told him they wouldn’t be angry at him if he decides to be adopted or to start calling SIL mom.

He explained nobody told him SIL isn’t his mom, it’s just how he feels. He told me he still loves her. But he sees her in a different way to his parents.

Fair enough.

So when my brother and SIL brought the topic up to me and my husband during lunch last week and they asked where they went from here, I told them to respect my nephew’s wishes.

I told them everyone would be happier if they stopped stressing about this.

That they have a good life. They don’t need the ribbon on top.

They told me it was easy for me to say, I wasn’t the person who felt my heart break every time my nephew says no or calls SIL by her name.

AITA?

Oh, the drama of family dynamics!

Is there room for compromise, or should they finally let it go? Let’s see what the people of Reddit think…

This person thinks this is all pretty, well, stupid.

This commenter doesn’t understand why it matters what he calls the stepmom.

This person says they just need to learn to live with it, no questions asked.

You can’t just assign someone the “Mom” title and expect it to stick!

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a daughter who invited herself to her parents’ 40th anniversary vacation for all the wrong reasons.