Many people have a hard time warming up to their in-laws.

Being the new addition to a family can be isolating, but usually everyone comes around.

However, this isn’t the case in this story of a man who’s fed up being excluded from family dinners, so much so that it escalates into a fiery screaming match.

Let’s start from the beginning.

AITA for doing the same? In-Law Visits exclude me from their Brunch/Dinners “As a Family”

I (30M) have been married to the wife (30F) for almost 3 years.

2 years ago, I moved to the other side of the US for my wife’s job.

She and her family are from the Middle East. Her sister lives in the next state over.

He explains where the trouble first began.

Each time they’ve visited, they go out as a family to dinner/brunch at a nice place without me.

I expressed it made me uncomfortable and felt disrespectful especially considering they were staying here.

This continued to happen with every visit. I expressed my increasing discomfort and anger with each occurrence.

Cue current visit. They are to be here in our home from Thursday-Tuesday.

The visit starts with a miscommunication.

After work, at 7:45, I go out to the deck for a smoke and to decompress. At 8:25 PM, my MIL comes to the deck and tells me dinner reservation is at 8:30 and to get ready.

No one told me anything?

I go upstairs and wife is getting ready in a room. I pop in and incredulously ask her why she didn’t tell me about dinner??

She’s not sympathetic.

Her response was: “You could have asked, couldn’t you?”

I tell her this is incredibly rude. She said this is about FIL’s birthday.

I go to my desk for more work and ask wife to let me know when she’s done getting ready.

He can’t believe what happens next.

SIL and wife both pass behind me while getting ready, not saying a word.

I then hear them go downstairs and the front door closing. I go downstairs and they’re gone.

I called wife 4 times. No answer. I am seething. I drive to cool off and get a call from wife 20min later.

He can’t contain his anger any longer.

I go off about why she didn’t say anything to me and about how they all ditched me and how this is extremely disrespectful.

She says, “Oh, okay! I’ll tell them you said so.”

They get back at 11:00 PM.

SIL asks if I ate. I said yes, even though I didn’t.

FIL looks at the TV and asks if I’m watching X. I curtly say yes. They say goodnight and go to bed.

Saturday morning, I go get breakfast. I took extra time bc I wanted to be anywhere away from them.

He’s done being civil with his family.

I get a message from FIL saying, “We are making brunch for everyone.”

Then my wife texted asking where I am. I didn’t reply.

FIL and MIL are in the kitchen saying brunch is ready and to please eat.

I tell them “I ate” before heading upstairs to my desk to game for the first time in months.

Wife comes and says something but I can’t hear her.

6:30 PM I go downstairs to heat up food. SIL is on the couch. Wife, MIL, and FIL walk downstairs.

No one says anything to me.

Then things escalate.

Wife is on the middle of the stairs when she yells, “Is everyone stressed out and quiet because of that RUDE, boring, BUZZKILL!? Don’t let that fat POS ruin your day.”

I respond, “Oh, look. It’s a talking garbage can. Hey Oscar!”

SIL looks at me and throws up her hands. I continue to eat my sandwich as everyone leaves.

Wife texts me that MIL is crying in the car because of how uncomfortable I made all of them.

They are all leaving, wife included.

I said their leaving is completely fine by me and that they’re the ones who showed the disrespect first.

They are all leaving tomorrow morning to a lake resort for the remainder of their time.

AITA?

This man’s resentment over being excluded pushed the whole family over the edge.

What does Reddit think?

This user doesn’t believe the husband is at fault here.

But this redditor says the husband could have behaved better.

This user continues, saying that hosting family comes with certain responsibilities that this man isn’t fulfilling.

There’s more than enough blame to go around in this family dynamic.

A series of misunderstandings, poor communication, and built up resentment led to a turning point in this family’s relationship.

In this game of family dysfunction, everyone is the loser.

If you liked that story, read this one about grandparents who set up a college fund for their grandkid because his parents won’t, but then his parents want to use the money to cover sibling’s medical expenses.