When someone in your family has kids, you’re basically automatically signed up for babysitting duty at some point.
That’s not always a bad thing though, you get to bond with your new little family member! But it can quickly lead to you being taken advantage of, like in this story.
When this user’s agreed to help her brother by watching his twins he was ecstatic, but after a year, when she told him a promotion meant she wouldn’t be able to watch them, he called her selfish!
Was she wrong to prioritize her own life over watching her brother’s kids? Decide for yourself!
AITA for choosing my career over my brother’s kids?
For context, I (28 F) have a brother (25 M) and he and his wife (25 F) had twin boys about a year ago.
The twins were unexpected but even so, I would say they transitioned relatively smoothly into parenthood.
My brother and his wife were both able to take time away from work to raise the twins.
While my sister in law was able to stay home, my brother had to return to work since they weren’t expecting two babies.
But when OP’s sister-in-law needed to return to work too, they needed a babysitter. Enter OP.
This and the fact that my sister in law wasn’t working led to her eventually going back to work early as well, which left them the issue of child care.
My brother and SIL both work hard and money was really tight for them, so they asked if I could take care of the babies a few days per week so they could cut down on costs.
I am fortunate enough to work from home most days and live alone, so I agreed because it felt like it was something I could do for them and bond with the babies.
And while the babysitting gig was going well at first…
We have had this arrangement going on since my brother and SIL returned to work and it was fine at first. Work was relatively slow and I was happy to spend time with my nephews.
However, taking care of them, has a created a strain not only on myself but my bank account as well, since they are growing.
My brother and SIL often work late, meaning I am feeding them dinner and taking care of them well into the evening.
I haven’t put up much of a fuss because and I haven’t been charging them because of their financial situation.
The financial strain as well as an increasing demand at work meant that she would have to stop babysitting her nephews…
However, work has progressively been getting more busy and has started to take more attention from me.
I was also recently offered a higher position in the company, but it would require me to work fully in person.
Today, while I was with my brother, I told him about my promotion and that I would not be able to take care of the twins anymore.
He freaked out and called me a terrible sister, saying that I was abandoning my family. I wasn’t really able to explain myself further because he left in a hurry all angry.
But OP’s sister in law and her parents were no comfort after her hard choice!
A couple hours ago, I received some really nasty messages from my SIL and my parents, saying that I am extremely selfish, disgusting and shameful for choosing work over family.
My parents aren’t able to help, as they live on the other side of the country and are not mobile.
I know if I stop helping with child care, my brother’s family will suffer, so now I’m rethinking my decision.
So OP gave them free childcare for an entire year without asking anything of her brother, and she’s the selfish one? Give me a break!
Reddit told OP to stand firm, and not let her family guilt her into giving up her life because her brother can’t take care of his kids.
Others pointed out how hypocritical it was for the parents to criticize her when they’re working themselves.
This user said OP shouldn’t have to hold herself back in life because of a choice her brother made.
Finally, this person said by the family’s own logic, OP’s brother and his wife were the ones abandoning their family!
They’re YOUR kids, not mine!
Thought that was satisfying? Check out what this employee did when their manager refused to pay for their time while they were traveling for business.