Blended families are full of complexities. When this woman invites her husband’s troubled teenage daughter into their home, it put their family dynamics to the test.

Despite their best efforts to provide structure and support, her continued defiance and unhygienic habits forced them to make a difficult decision.

Read on for the whole story!

AITA for kicking my step daughter out?

My husband and I are happily married and have one child together and he has one 19 yo daughter from a previous relationship.

We get along great with his ex and her husband. They weren’t together long, as they were lifelong friends who briefly tried dating, and realized they were better as friends, even after the birth of their daughter.

There’s an anomaly in this harmonious blended family.

Everyone gets along with the exception of their daughter, who really doesn’t get along with anyone.

She stayed with her aunt and when she left a couple weeks later, her cousin had to start therapy. The aunt went low contact with all of us.

Her grandmother stopped having her for more than a couple days because her blood pressure can’t take it. She’s been in therapy, asked if something has happened to her, but she is just defiant. She has been diagnosed with Oppositional Defiant Disorder.

The step-daughter seems to wreck havoc on everyone around her.

Her mother and step father have started therapy because of the constant stress of having her around. We told them that of course we would have her stay with us.

It’s been miserable. She goes out of her way to do the opposite of what anyone asks her to do. Refuses to do basic chores i.e. picking up her own trash and dirty clothes.

They tried to provide structure.

We gave her the household chore of vacuuming once a day in the three rooms that have carpet. It takes maybe fifteen minutes.

But she quickly takes advantage.

We found out she “traded” with our son, then complained when she was caught that it wasn’t fair he got the easier job of watering two plants.

We told her that not only is he only 8 yo but he is developmentally delayed and has muscular dystrophy and can barely push the vacuum.

Not only that but he’s nonverbal and couldn’t tell her no. He just did as he was told.

Her defiance escalated.

The last straw was when I went into her room to put clothes away and noticed her pile of leftover food and wrappers. I’d told her multiple times it needed thrown away.

I decided to do it that time because it was starting to mold and she would lose food in her room privileges. I picked it up and there were a couple roaches.

We called an exterminator and he said, they were only in her room and we were lucky to find it early and it most likely happened because instead of throwing her trash away, she just threw it out the window and left the window open.

Her father thinks his wife made the wrong decision.

My husband says we shouldn’t have kicked her out because now she resents us and feels like we are giving up on her.

I said I understood that as a parent, but at what point does she have to stop making all of us miserable?

Besides, I think the best thing is to finally make her take some responsibility for herself and despite efforts with therapy, attempted quality time, punishments, encouragements, he is just enabling her at this point.

But she’s putting her foot down.

Ultimately, I purchased the house prior to marriage and it’s still in my name.

I refuse to have my son live with someone who will take advantage of him and live in a house with roaches and mold.

My husband and I are starting therapy soon for ourselves as well because of this and she is staying with the second friend because the first made her leave.

AITA?

It sounds like this couple is between a rock and a hard place.

What did Reddit think?

This user thinks they did their best, but there’s only so much they can do.

She made the right decision looking out for her son, according to this redditor.

At a certain point, the step-daughter needs to take responsibility for her actions.

It’s not fair to her son.

While this couple has a long road ahead, Redditors agree she made the best choice she could.

You can’t help someone who doesn’t want to be helped.

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