When a relative has to take custody of a child because the parents are neglecting them, it can put stress on the whole family.

What happens if you volunteer to take custody of a child, but other people in the family want you to do it differently?

That is what the couple in this story are facing, and they want to make sure they are reacting in the best interests of the child. Check it out.

AITA for refusing to discuss my nephew with my parents?

My husband (30m) and I (28f) have custody of my 7 year old nephew going on 5 months now.

CPS removed him from the custody of my sister and BIL (both 33).

My husband and I stepped up to take nephew.

We have a case worker who works closely with us and with sister and BIL.

Being honest, for the sake of the post, I suspect my husband and I will be raising our nephew for the rest of his childhood.

To give some but not all context.

My sister has two kids with BIL.

Nephew and my 4 year old niece.

This is heartbreaking.

She was born with cancer and while they removed it quickly then, it returned a year ago and caused a very bad shift in dynamic between them and my nephew.

They were quick to anger with him, ignored him in favor of my niece and the only time they really appeared to interact with him was when they forced him to visit his sister in the hospital.

These parents need help.

During one of those visits he wanted some attention, they scolded him, he started to cry, they got mad at him for upsetting his sister, started yelling until a nurse came into intervene.

Then the hospital social worker was called in and by the end my nephew said he just wanted her to die so he could have them back and my sister and BIL lost their temper even more.

They could not be calmed.

They called my nephew all kinds of names and wished he’d die instead for sucking up attention from his sister.

When CPS were looking to place him with family, my parents also wanted to, but they were denied.

It sounds like CPS was right.

This is because it was believed they would not listen to the case worker and would take him to see his sister and that’s a no no because he cannot have contact with his parents outside court ordered supervisors and his case worker.

So we took custody.

My sister and BIL have made zero efforts to focus on their son since losing custody and have expressed no remorse or regret for what happened.

They also turned down help offered by CPS, including therapy and supports to allow them to spend more time with nephew and not just niece.

My parents hate that my husband and I got custody over them.

And they wonder why they didn’t get custody?

They hate that we’re not defying CPS orders and bringing him around his parents and sister.

They hate that we tell them nothing about how he’s doing or what he talks about.

They have asked me repeatedly if he regrets what he said and if he misses his parents and sister and wants to go back.

They have also asked what his therapist (court appointed) has said.

They wanted to attend therapy sessions and the case worker said not to, which we had already done, but she wanted me to know it was an official thing too and could back myself up if needed with it.

There is technically nothing stopping me from talking about him since they’re blood relatives.

Keep doing what’s best for the child.

But given everything I feel it’s best not to.

My parents told me recently he’s their grandson and just because I have custody, it doesn’t mean I can work against the rest of the family.

That I should not be keeping things about their grandson from them.

They told me they know I can talk about it.

AITA?

What a heartbreaking story. I can’t imagine how difficult it is for everyone, but they are NTA at all.

Let’s see if the people in the comments have any insights.

This person points out the obvious favoritism.

It is great that they are helping the family.

This is an important question.

Yeah, don’t stop advocating for your nephew!

Well-written comment.

Someone has to put this child first!

If you thought that was an interesting story, check out what happened when a family gave their in-laws a free place to stay in exchange for babysitting, but things changed when they don’t hold up their end of the bargain.