When living in an apartment complex, the rules often don’t make much sense, but you have to follow them.

What happens when they enforce arbitrary rules on decoration, but won’t take any action to protect the health of a tenant?

That’s what the guy in this story had to deal with, but fortunately, he got satisfaction and a few laughs along the way.

It is a long story, but well worth it in the end. Check it out.

Home Owner’s Association doesn’t care about my health but how dare my flat look non-conformist!

First, a bit about me.

For the story’s sake, you can call me Alex.

I was a 29 year old male at the time.

I’m generally very friendly and accomodating and try to avoid confrontation where possible and always try to do things in a peaceful and patient manner.

Now onto the back story.

I lived in a gated community comprised entirely of multiple blocks of small apartments.

Every block of apartments looked exactly the same as the other blocks of apartments around it.

They were a few floors high and I lived on the 1st floor (clarification: I believe in America the first floor is the ground floor. Where I live, the ground floor is the ground floor and the first floor is the one above the ground floor or as Americans would call it, the second floor. So I lived one floor above the ground floor).

Annoying, but as long as the rules were clear when he moved in, it is fine.

The Home Owners Association/estate management were extremely strict about any infringements regarding things we weren’t allowed to do and would issue fines very quickly if you were in breach of the rules and didn’t rectify it.

For example, you were allowed to have furniture on your patio but you weren’t allowed to have any decor on your patio.

I imagine it was because they wanted uniformity in the appearance of the blocks of flats.

Also, no loud noise or music was allowed after 10pm.

I personally agreed with the no loud noise thing.

It was quiet a peaceful community that frankly was very well managed which is something I enjoyed about it.

I didn’t agree so much with the “no decor thing”.

As a photographer and artist, personal expression is important to me but I figured as long as I kept it tasteful and stylish and mostly out of visible sight, they hopefully wouldn’t have an issue with it.

I’m a big fan of vintage motorbikes and had a few tasteful (or at least I thought they were tasteful) metal posters with classic bikes like Triumph Bonnevilles, Indian Scouts, BSAs, Nortons, Ducati’s etc up on one of the walls of my patio.

They were at such an angle that meant they weren’t easily visible from the rest of the complex so didn’t think it would be an issue.

Somehow it was still spotted by the estate manager. But more on this later.

I also had a few potted plants on the ledge of my balcony.

Again, we’ll get to that later. You need to know about it for the rest of the story.

I would hate this!

My downstairs neighbour also used to smoke in her back garden (the ground floors had small gardens and my balcony was directly above her garden).

Her smoke would rise up and go through my open bedroom window or the large sliding door on my patio which was usually open in summer and enter my flat.

Since I don’t smoke, this bothered me.

The smell seeped into my furniture and bedding.

Even my sleeping pillow smelled of smoke.

I politely spoke to her in person about it and she apologised for the inconvenience but never stopped doing it.

She was actually a very friendly lady.

She was never horrible.

I suppose she was nice enough to be friendly but not nice enough to stop doing it.

So I decided to take it a step further and I emailed the manager of the gated community to ask if there was something that could be done.

A simple and reasonable request.

The following is the email transaction between myself and the manager who I’ll call Nicole:

Good day.

I stay in unit 117 on the first floor and my downstairs neighbour who lives on the ground floor (although being a very friendly old lady) has a nasty habit of smoking in her patio. My issue is that in summer with the heat, I leave my bedroom window and sliding door open to keep my flat cool and the fumes from her cigarettes are constantly rising up and entering my apartment. I’m not a smoker so this bothers me. My flat smells as if a smoker lives there. Now my question is, is there any rule or law that says she can’t smoke in her patio due to her smoke entering my flat? She knows her smoke bothers me and has apologised to me for it but hasn’t done anything about it. If she were to only smoke inside her flat or outside her front door, I’m sure the smoke wouldn’t come in to my flat nearly as much since I never have my front door open.

Thanks in advance.

Regards, Alex.

She responded with:

Good morning Alex

This is a very contentious issue as this is her home and there is no law at the moment stating you cannot smoke in your home.

Regards

Nicole.

I wasn’t happy with that response but I figured there was nothing more I could do about it and didn’t want to bother making a bigger issue of it so I just forgot about it and moved on until about a year later when estate management picked up on two infringements by me.

At this point, Nicole had resigned and Stuart had replaced her.

Ok, I guess his art is the more serious violation.

This is the email I got from Stuart:

Good day

I trust that you are well.

Please could you remove the pots from the wall as per the attached photo as this is dangerous should they be knocked off and fall onto someone downstairs and in breach of the conduct rules.

Furthermore, no items can be attached to the walls in the patio and you are requested to remove the pictures as per the photo as this is aesthetically displeasing.

Your assistance is appreciated.

Kind Regards

Stuart, Estate Manager

After that email I was now a bit upset and determined to get my way in terms of my smoking downstairs neighbour.

This guy has a way with words.

Queue my malicious compliance:

Good day Stuart.

I’m very well. Thanks for asking. Absolutely, I will take the pictures down. Not a problem. We wouldn’t want someone’s vision to be irreparably damaged from the unsightly trauma that is my vintage bike picture collection. Though I must comment that I appreciate the very polite way my decor is described as “aesthetically displeasing” as opposed to what that actually means. “That’s ugly” is probably a more colloquial translation. My feelings might have been hurt otherwise. I’m very relieved I didn’t go into the profession of interior decorating (which a few people I know have said I should have done) since the sudden realisation that my taste in style isn’t what I once thought it was. It could have been a disaster career wise. Alternatively, what if I were to replace the photos of the bikes with a nice family portrait of my parents? Granted, they aren’t super models but they’re attractive to me, though I may be biased in that opinion since I care for them, so I’m hoping they’re not too ugly. Oops, I mean “aesthetically displeasing”. If that fails, maybe a reproduction of the Mona Lisa would be sufficient to meet your high standards. Tourists travel across the globe and wait in line for hours just to see it for a few minutes. Would that be allowed? I won’t even charge fellow tenants for looking at it when they’re walking past my balcony.

Obviously, I’m being a little ridiculous and I don’t mean to give you a hard time. You’re just doing your job and enforcing some of the ridiculous rules that management come up with, like the communist level restriction on personal expression and the freedom of choice to decorate and style our own property in a manner that we like. God forbid we show some individuality. Now that I think about, the endless rows of identical looking Soviet era housing structures do have a nice seizure inducing repetitive nature about them. While we’re on the subject of decor, how is it that that plastic patio furniture is still allowed? Yes, it is patio furniture which complex rules say are allowed on patios but dang, that is painful to look at. You know what I mean, right? That cheap white plastic stuff one buys at the furniture section at those large bulk buying stores? I find it very aesthetically displeasing… oh screw it. It’s ugly. I don’t like looking at it. It comes across as tacky. Can’t they be scrapped as well?

I’m going off topic again. The whole point of me bringing all of this up is that a few months ago I emailed asking about a complaint I had. The complaint was that the lady who lives directly downstairs from me regularly smokes in her garden. And me, being the lover of oxygen that I am, keep my windows and patio door open for fresh air. And her smoke is constantly wafting into my apartment. Me being a non-smoker, I get quite annoyed. I asked if anything could be done about this. I was told “it’s her property and her patio, she can smoke on it if she wants to.” I know that health legislation stipulates that smoking within a certain distance from a designated non smoking area is illegal. If it’s good enough for public spaces, shouldn’t I have that same right in my own house? Granted, I don’t have “designated non-smoking area” signs in my flat but I’m the only one who lives there so I already know there’s no smoking allowed. I made the rule. It would be silly to put them up inside. Should I put them up outside on my patio instead so others can see? Maybe they don’t know I don’t like cigarette smoke. Actually wait, I already know the answer to that. They’re “aesthetically displeasing”. Forget I mentioned it.

So to recap: what really gripes me is that when my neighbour smokes so close to my flat that I can practically smell what brand of cigarettes she smokes, I’m told I can’t do anything about it even though it might affect my health because it’s her property and she can do what she likes on it. By that logic she could host illegal parties on her lawn and I couldn’t do anything about so long as she kept the volume down after 10pm. But I can’t put up pictures on my patio because some people might not like the way they look, even though it is also my property and it would be nice if I could do with it as I wanted provided it wasn’t an eyesore. Since I take a lot of pride in my flat, I wouldn’t call it an eyesore as I maintain it quite well, or at least I think so. If only a person’s lungs and health were as important as other people’s inability to mind their own business.

So, what I really want to know is, is there any way that my neighbour could possibly just smoke inside her flat or at least outside the front of her flat if she insists on smoking outside where the smoke won’t come into my place as easily, I would accept that too. I’m not a completely unreasonable guy. I find her smoke “nasally displeasing”. I normally wouldn’t make such a big deal about it but I’m starting to feel that what I’m subjected to versus what others have to be subjected to is a bit unfair. Sorry to put all this on you, Stuart. I understand it’s totally not your fault. I’ll still take the pictures and the potted plants down immediately.

Your assistance is appreciated.

Kind Regards,

Alex (Unit 117)

I sent that reply after 6 p.m. and I did not expect him to respond until the next morning. But half an hour later I got a reply. My email must have made an impact.

Hi Alex

Thank you for your e-mail. I thoroughly enjoyed reading it.

I do understand your frustration and unfortunately this is the reality of staying in such built up complexes. I will address the issue of the smoking with your neighbour and will revert to you.

Thank you for your assistance and understanding.

Kind Regards

Stuart.

To me, that sounded positive. So Stuart deserved a pat on the back. I sent a short reply:

Thanks Stuart! Much appreciated. You’re a top notch guy!

By now it was after 8pm and I’m sure someone with a 9 to 5 desk job like Stuart should have been at home and clocked out but he was still replying to me.

Hi Alex.

I have confirmed that smoking is only allowed inside the unit or at least 5m from a public place, such as your balcony. I will confirm the neighbours unit number in the morning, unless you can advise offhand, and will address her on the smoking issue

Kind Regards,

Stuart.

I was over the moon! I ran downstairs to see what her unit number was and ran back upstairs to reply.

Stuart!

You’ve gone from being a top notch guy to being a legend. Thanks so much! Her unit is 107. I was worried the outcome wouldn’t be great and would have to “accidentally” bump into my pots while taking my pictures down while she was “conveniently” smoking in just the right position. It would be a tragic accident of course. *Cough cough* Sorry, some smoke got into my lungs. Though that would be a lot of effort since I’ve already taken the plants and pictures down and I would have to put them all up again to make the story sound believable to the police because they would no doubt interrogate me on suspected murder with a pot plant. And that’s frankly too much effort. Luckily I don’t have to resort to that. Thanks again Stuart! Your hard work has kept me out of prison. It’s late. You can email her in the morning. Go home and have a beer. You’ve earned it!

P.S. – In all seriousness though, I’m totally kidding about the pot plant thing and if the lady downstairs were to “peg it” in the near future it would be completely coincidental and nothing to do with me and I’d appreciate it if you forgot you ever spoke to me. This would be terrible evidence against me in court. I mean, I dislike smokers but I wouldn’t kill them. I’m not crazy.

Regards, Alex.

Sadly, that was the last I would hear from Stuart.

Our correspondence stopped after that.

They could have been best friends.

I felt we had developed a bond and it ended as quickly as it had begun.

I only lived in that estate for another 2 years and had no more issues with the downstairs neighbour or her cigarette smoke.

I now live in the suburbs in a lovely house with my wife and have no downstairs neighbours to complain about and no Stuarts to tell me what I can and can’t do.

I will treasure our time together.

I hope wherever he is, he has our email thread printed out and pinned on his office board above his desk and thinks of me fondly whenever he looks at it.

It took him a while, but he finally got what he wanted, and had fun while doing it.

Check out some of the comments below.

He is an artist with his words.

I’m curious as well.

This person thinks the guy was a little dramatic.

Reverse malicious compliance I guess.

HOA’s really should be a lot less common.

Your artwork offends my eyes. *eye roll*

If you thought that was an interesting story, check out what happened when a family gave their in-laws a free place to stay in exchange for babysitting, but things changed when they don’t hold up their end of the bargain.