TwistedSifter

Father Insists On Bringing His New Family To Visit His Estranged Son At Her House, But A Protective Aunt Steps In And Insists They Have To Stay Somewhere Else

Source: Pexels/Afif Ramdhasuma, Reddit/AITA

When families split apart, they don’t always fit back together neatly.

In this story, a father’s attempt to reconnect with his estranged son are jeopardized by the demands of his new family.

A protective aunt must decide whether to enforce boundaries or risk damaging the fragile trust that’s been slowly rebuilt.

Read on for the full story!

AITA for telling my nephew’s father he cannot stay at my house with his wife and her kids?

My nephew “George” lives with me and my family. He is my sister’s child, but she unfortunately passed away a few years ago.

Her widower, “Eric” remarried quickly. George didn’t get on with Eric’s wife and kids and Eric paid no attention to him.

18 months ago, he came to live with me.

Eric still visits his kid sometimes.

Eric visits George at our house for one weekend a month, a longer visit during the summer, and we took him to see Eric at Christmas time.

All of these visits are without his wife and her children, as the therapist feels it’s important for George and Eric to rebuild their individual relationship.

The visits are hard on everyone involved.

I won’t say facilitating this has been easy. I love George like he’s my own child, and to watch Eric flounder with a child he was supposed to take care of breaks my heart. It’s hard for my husband too.

All this to say, we are on a short fuse with Eric. I feel I have to be honest about that.

They set the scene for the latest conflict.

Anyway, Eric is meant to be coming to us in August for two weeks. A few days ago, he asked if he could bring his wife and her kids. Apparently she has been having a really tough time and is desperate for a holiday, as are the kids (wtf).

Eric also said it’s been a real strain to keep his wife and kids away from his son and splitting time has been hard and he really wants to start mending the relationship between all of them.

Neither George nor his new caregivers are too fond of this idea.

I was livid, but I went and spoke to my husband, and then to George.

George was hurt that his dad was suggesting bringing them, and said that he didn’t want to see them.

I went back to Eric and said I couldn’t control where his wife and the kids are, but they won’t be staying with us.

If he wants to bring them, they can stay in a hotel and when he is not visiting George he can do what he wants.

They explain their reasoning to Eric, who isn’t pleased.

I made clear that I am upholding what’s been recommended by the therapist George sees (which Eric knows because he has check-ins with the therapist).

Both Eric and his wife have been up my rear about me not letting them stay. I have not blocked her because I like to collect evidence of what kind of person she is to send to Eric when he tries to act like she is not awful.

Eric is saying he might not be able to come at all now because organising childcare for the kids is going to be hard, and his wife is becoming resentful of him not being around, etc.

Eric starts shifting the blame.

Basically because I’m doing this, George might not see Eric at all for more than a weekend until Christmas.

This is hurting me because Eric has been making a good effort until now. And George had been starting to trust him.

George’s new caregiver is taking it all to heart.

I just feel like I’m ruining it. But if I let them all stay then Eric won’t get any one on one time with George anyway (the wife will make sure of that) on top of us all having hellish houseguests.

I am trying to enforce this boundary so that Eric has to man up and prioritise his son but maybe I’m being too harsh because it might end up the opposite.

It sounds like a visit would be more trouble than it’s worth at this point.

What did Reddit think?

This user thinks the author’s instincts are spot on.

There’s certain things you just shouldn’t force.

The author shouldn’t feel bad in the slightest.

This redditor further validates.

Enforcing boundaries may feel like stepping on toes, but it’s often the only way to avoid a complete misstep.

If you thought that was an interesting story, check this one out about a man who created a points system for his inheritance, and a family friend ends up getting almost all of it.

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