Weddings are notoriously expensive. Even one plate of mediocre food can go for close to 2oo, and that’s if you get a good deal!

So it’s understandable that wedding guests give the couple some compensation for their troubles.

When this brother gave his sister a gift card after she eloped, she complained that he had gotten their other sibling a more generous wedding gift!

Was he wrong to give his other sister more?

Decide for yourself!

AITAH for not giving my sister who eloped as generous as a gift as my sister who had a traditional wedding?

My parents had me when they were really young, are still together now and had two more kids, my sisters Katie and Jess later on.

Im 15 and 17 years older than them respectively. Because of the age gap, we didn’t really grow up together and sometimes I feel more like an uncle than a big brother to them.

I’ve been fortunate in my career to do relatively well and I’ve typically been pretty generous with them when it comes to things like Birthday’s, Christmas, and graduations.

And he was similarly generous when his little sister got married….

My sister Katie got married 2 summers ago and had your typical traditional wedding. I’d guess around 125 people were there, it was very nice, and definitely not cheap.

I don’t know how much they spent but I know my parents and her husbands only were able to contribute for about half the cost.

The rest was my sister and her husband paying for it.

They were super cool and let me and my wife bring our 2 kids even though I later found out the venue charged the same for kids as adults for the food and everything.

This inclusion really touched him, and he gave them a gift accordingly.

It meant a lot and I didn’t want their inclusion to be a burden so my wife and I gifted them $500 as a wedding present to cover our plates plus a little extra.

My sister Jess has always been more “low key.”

When she got engaged she told us all she would likely elope and nobody tried to convince her otherwise because it made sense for them.

They aren’t flashy and have always seemed pretty frugal, definitely not the type to throw a big wedding costing 10s of thousands.

And true to her word, Jess eloped and he was thrilled for her…

They announced a couple weeks ago that they eloped in the mountains with just them and the necessary witness.

I was happy for them and didn’t feel like I missed out on anything, I’ve been to enough weddings that I don’t have fomo, I’m just happy they had what felt right for them.

Since they didn’t have a wedding, I didn’t think to get them a wedding present because you know no wedding…

But that didn’t mean he wasn’t going to give Jess anything…

But they did just go under contract on their first home together so my wife and I got them a $100 gift card to Home Depot.

I remember when I first bought my first home there were a lot of home improvement stuff and I made about 100 trips there so thought it would be a nice gift.

Apparently she asked Katie what they got for their wedding and she told them and now felt a certain way about our gift to them.

She made a comment about feeling like their marriage wasn’t respected enough because they didn’t throw a big party and said it felt like I was showing favoritism.

But he said that Katie had gotten more because she had paid for his whole family to be at the wedding…

I told her I have Katie more because she hosted my whole family and I know how expensive that is having paid for my own wedding.

Jess kinda rolled her eyes and walked away after that interaction and we havent talked about it since. That was this past Sunday.

I thought it would be understood that the situations were just different and its unreasonable to expect the same generosity when you don’t give any generosity.

AKA not hosting and feeding people, not having a traditional wedding, and not inviting us to celebrate with them.

Maybe I am wrong though so wanted some neutral opinions.

Regardless of whether it was right or wrong to give one sister more, isn’t it a little gauche to ask for MORE money than you already got?

Reddit said that if anything, Jess was in the wrong for comparing the gift she got, and for asking for more.

But this user was less clear, saying while she understood Katie getting a bigger gift, he should also want Jess to have a good start for her family.

And this user who also eloped said expecting any gift for a wedding you didn’t have was ridiculous.

Finally, this user said that he wasn’t in the wrong, but they understood why Jess was so upset.

“Thanks for the gift, could we have more money please?”

On the other hand, feelings are feelings, right?

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a daughter who invited herself to her parents’ 40th anniversary vacation for all the wrong reasons.