In today’s story, a stepson and stepmom don’t see eye to eye. They even go to therapy to try to work it out, but it doesn’t seem to be helping.
Let’s see how the story unfolds…
AITA for telling the family therapist my dad and stepmom refused to do the homework assigned and didn’t follow her advice?
I’m (16m) in therapy with my dad and stepmom.
It’s been 3 or 4 months of therapy now. We started going because my stepmom wants a different relationship with me than I want with her.
Her feelings were getting hurt, and I was getting frustrated with feeling like what I wanted didn’t matter and that her wants were the priority.
OP’s stepmom wants him to think of her as his mother, but he’ll never see her that way.
Stepmom has been stepmom since I was 9, and I’ve known her since I was 9.
I didn’t really get time in between meeting her and her marrying dad to get to know her well because she moved states to live with us.
I lost my mom when I was 5. She wanted us to have a mom/son dynamic. I saw her as family but not as a mom or even an actual parent.
I do respect her. I think she’s nice. I think she’s funny and we’d be friends easier if I had been older. But I don’t want another mom.
Her giving birth to my half siblings didn’t change that for me, but having them made her more eager for more.
OP doesn’t want his stepmom to call him her “son.”
She calls me her son all the time.
I have voiced before that I wish she’d say stepson.
I was ignored and it was never addressed.
When we started therapy I had mentioned that was something I disliked.
She had talked about how she disliked me calling her by her name. How she wanted something more formal between us, like “momma” or something.
Dad said he wanted me to embrace having a second mom. He wanted me to let my stepmom be my second mom.
The therapist stood up for OP.
I was honest that I feel like my voice doesn’t matter when they ignore me asking her to call me her stepson. I explained why I want that, why I feel as I do.
They tried to dismiss it, but the therapist told them to stop.
She told them that me feeling like it lessens my mom is valid. That many kids and adults feel that way.
And while that could change if I wanted it to, if I wanted to work on that, if not it was something they would need to accept.
OP’s dad and stepmom didn’t do the therapist’s “homework,” and OP told the therapist.
Two weeks ago she gave us “homework.”
She wanted us to sit down and discuss outside of therapy the whole “son/momma” thing and come back to her with notes from it. She also wanted my stepmom to call me her stepson for a week.
They didn’t do any of that.
I told the therapist during our session last week. I said they refused to sit with me (true) and she never once called me her stepson.
I was asked to sit out for the rest of the session and she had it just them and her that day.
They are so pissed at me. They told me I had done that to spite them and it’s not fair that my stepmom has to do the work but not me, and she’s right while I’m wrong.
AITA?
It sounds like OP is just being honest with the therapist and trying harder to work things out than his dad and stepmom.
Let’s see how Reddit responded…
This reader believes that honesty is key in therapy.
Here’s another vote for honesty…
This reader thinks OP should try to leave home right after high school.
This reader praised OP and the therapist.
Another reader thinks OP’s dad and stepmom are probably being too forceful with convincing OP to try to accept the stepmom the way she wants to be accepted.
This boy already has a mother. Just because she died doesn’t mean he has to think of his stepmom like his new mother.
That’s a lot to ask.
If you enjoyed that story, read this one about a mom who was forced to bring her three kids with her to apply for government benefits, but ended up getting the job of her dreams.