When you’re in an uncomfortable living situation, things can get stressful pretty quickly.
For this guy, his MIL isn’t following the rules they had set in place for their living arrangements, but now he think he might be the jerk in the situation.
Let’s find out…
AITA for being snarky when my MIL walked through the house unannounced?
My living situation needs explaining. My house is built on a hillside and street level is the top floor. Bedrooms are one floor down.
Below that is a “basement” unit where my retired MIL lives. She has her own bathroom, kitchen, laundry, etc.
To leave the house, she can use an outside staircase which goes all the way up to street level. Or she can come through our space where there’s a door between her unit and the upper levels.
We bought the house together for financial reasons.
The agreement was that my MIL would use the outside stairs when the weather was nice, and use the inside stairs if it was raining or snowing.
But they don’t stick to this plan…
But she’d have to text us and give us reasonable warning to avoid awkward encounters (e.g. give me enough time to make sure I’m not going to the bathroom with the door open).
Fast forward… my wife and I now have 2 kids (ages 3 & 5). My MIL needed back surgery around 4 years ago.
Since that surgery, she’s exclusively used the inside stairs to leave and I’ve bit my tongue and not brought up our original agreement.
The main issue is that she’s very inconsistent in texting us. When she does text, it’s typically with 2-4 minutes of warning.
I live in constant anxiety listening for that door to open. When I hear it, the first thing I do is check my phone. I’d say there’s a text message around half the time.
Yesterday, we took our kids out on a day trip and noticed that my MIL parked her car in a way that took me a few attempts to get our van clear.
It was also very close to the mailbox.
My wife texts her mom and asks her to move her car (literally just 3-4 feet would avoid an angry note from our grouchy mail carrier).
We get home 7 hours later and the car hasn’t moved so my wife calls out my MIL for that.
2 more hours pass and I hear the door open.
Now he’s mad…
I check my phone and there’s a “coming up” text from my MIL at 4:59PM. It’s 5:01PM when I hear the door.
Afterward, my wife made it a point to remind me that her mom texted. Likely because I was visibly annoyed.
I respond in an admittedly sarcastic tone “yeah, 2 minutes ahead.”
So my wife gets angry at me and lectures me about how her mom never does anything right, how it’s uncomfortable for her to be in between us in an awkward situation, etc.
My wife has no issue with her mom coming up without warning. My kids have grown up with their grandmother coming up without warning.
I obviously didn’t grow up with her.
Did I overreact to how this went down?
Let’s get into the comments…
Some commenters thought OP was being extreme.
Other Reddit users think he’s made his bed and needs to lay in it.
Overall, the comments were mostly on the side of the MIL.
Luckily, some users offered great advice to solve the problem.
Communication is key… especially with your mother-in-law!
This guy sounds like he could use a therapist, tbh.
If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a daughter who invited herself to her parents’ 40th anniversary vacation for all the wrong reasons.