She Tries Explaining To Her Autistic Girlfriend In Terms She’ll Understand, But Her GF’s Mom Thinks She’s Talking Down To Her. Now She’s Uninvited From Family Dinner Unless She Apologizes.

Heather Hall

4 months ago

Today’s video games get pretty complicated. With all the different mechanics and strategies, they can be tough to explain to someone who isn’t familiar with them.

So, how would you react if you were using familiar terms to explain a game to your partner, but their parent overheard and thought you were treating them like they were stupid?

And what if that parent refused to let you come to their house until you apologized? Would you give in or stand your ground?

In the following story, someone finds themselves in this exact situation. Let’s see how it played out.

AITA for explaining something to my gf in “makeup terms”

I (20F) and my GF (19F) were having dinner with her family last week. She has 5 siblings, and her grandparents were there, so there were 11 of us in total.

My GF and I are also both neurodivergent (I have ADHD, and she has autism), so sometimes, when we’re trying to explain things to each other, we’ll have to say it multiple times because something got lost in translation.

We were sitting at the table at her house, and there were several conversations going on around the table.

One of her brothers (15M) and I play the same video game (Valorant) and were talking about our experiences.

Some video games are hard to understand unless you play them.

My GF was listening to us and asked me to explain a situation I was telling her brother about.

I tried to explain it, but I could tell it wasn’t clicking.

The only video game she plays is Stardew Valley, which I have never played, so I wasn’t able to think of a comparison that would make sense to that.

My GF loves to do her makeup and is super good at it.

I watch her do it all the time, so I figured I could find a comparison with makeup.

I told her the equivalent would be like having to do your eyeliner and get it really straight and clean, and instead deciding to take some lipstick and just kinda doodle on your face.

The mother did not like what she was hearing.

Her mom overheard our conversation and asked what we were talking about, so I told her we were talking about a video game and that my GF wouldn’t get it, so I was explaining it in makeup terms.

Her mom and one of her sisters got really mad and started yelling at both me and my GF’s brother, saying that we were being disrespectful and treating my GF like she was too stupid to understand what we were talking about.

I realize, looking back, that saying we were explaining things in “makeup terms” may not have been the best way to phrase it, but I’m honestly not sure how I could phrase it any other way.

My GF has assured me that she’s not mad and that it was actually a perfect way to explain it, and that she understood what I meant, but her mom and a few of her siblings are still really mad at me.

Here lies the problem.

Usually, we have dinner with them on Sundays because they have a family dinner, but I’ve been uninvited until I apologize to her mom, which feels weird and dumb to me. It had nothing to do with her, and I have no idea what nerve I struck with her.

My GF refuses to go to the dinners without me because her family stresses her out, which is part of why we live together so early in the relationship (we’ve dated for almost a year).

I don’t want my GF to miss out on family time because of me, even if she didn’t want to go in the first place, but I truly don’t think I should have to apologize to her mother for explaining something to my GF.

AITA?

Yikes. It’s easy to misunderstand intentions when you’re eavesdropping.

Let’s check out what Reddit readers had to say about this.

According to this person, the GF is the only opinion that matters.