Should you buy something just to be nice because someone in your family made it?
That’s the question in today’s story when one woman’s in-laws try to make her buy a painting out of guilt and obligation.
Let’s see how the story unfolds…
WIBTA if I refuse to buy a tacky painting my SIL made for my family?
I’m 52F and this situation concerns my husband’s brother “Drew” (59M) and his wife of 5 years “Susanne” (35F).
Drew supports Susanne on his income while she focuses on her dream of being an artist. She makes paintings of people and animals and has a website where she advertises her work for sale.
Privately, I don’t think her art is very good. It’s absolutely better than what I could do, but it doesn’t look “professional,” if you know what I mean. My husband feels the same, so we have not opted to purchase any of her art, despite her dropping hints here and there about it.
Susanne has come up with a unique way to sell her art.
The art on her site is priced in the $3-5K range. I realize that labor and cost of materials must be taken into account, but given the quality, those prices seem outrageous to me.
I suspect she’s not making regular sales because she started making portraits of friends, family, or pets “as a surprise,” and usually, said family and friends end up feeling obligated to buy the painting as a courtesy.
Unfortunately, my husband and I were the latest victims of this sales tactic.
Susanne made a huge painting as a “surprise,” and OP hates it.
My son recently proposed to his girlfriend, and we took the two of them, his girlfriend’s parents, and our daughter out to a fancy dinner to celebrate.
Both my kids posted pictures from dinner on social media.
Without telling anyone, Susanne decided to make a painting of one of these pictures, of everyone smiling for the camera. She revealed the big “surprise” at a party she and Drew hosted two weeks ago.
The painting is a whopping 40×58”, and I honestly think it’s awful… kitsch and tacky.
OP tried to get out of buying the painting.
I told Susanne it was sweet of her to commemorate such a special moment in our family, but I carefully avoided saying anything about “liking” it.
As I feared, she kept dropping hints throughout the party about how we can buy it as a wedding gift, and she would be happy to give us a big discount off what she would charge someone else. (Who else would buy it?)
I politely dodged these hints, and she was clearly disappointed.
Drew is begging OP’s husband to buy the painting.
Over the weekend, Drew reached out to my husband to say that Susanne feels hurt that we never made an offer. He said it’s becoming obvious as the years go by that we’ve never purchased one of her pieces, even though we have the means to do so, and it would mean a lot to them if we buy the painting.
Her original asking price was $2.5K, and Drew said he’ll reduce it further to $1900.
OP’s husband wants to cave and buy the painting but OP does not.
It’s not about the money (not entirely.) It’s the principle of the thing. I feel like I’m being strongarmed into paying for something I never asked for, don’t like, and don’t have space for in my house.
I asked, and my son and his fiancée don’t want it.
My husband thinks we should just buy it to keep the peace in the family and avoid a potential rift with Susanne and Drew. He also says the way I talk makes me sound like a snob (even though I would never share these opinions with anyone I know but him.)
WIBTA if I stand my ground and refuse?
I wouldn’t want to buy the painting either. It was quite bold of Susanne to paint it in the first place.
Let’s see how Reddit responded…
Here’s an idea of how OP could turn the situation back on Susanne.
This reader encourages OP not to buy the painting.
Another reader would encourage Susanne to give the painting to the newlyweds.
This reader points out an even bigger problem if OP decides to buy the painting.
It seems like Susanne is the one who is wrong here.
She shouldn’t have painted the painting assuming her in-laws would buy it.
If you liked this post, check out this story about an employee who got revenge on a co-worker who kept grading their work suspiciously low.