When your sister picks her wedding date from your “maybe” pile, don’t be surprised when the RSVP is a solid “nah.”

Spoiler alert: family guilt trips incoming.

Read on for the story!

AITA for missing my sister’s wedding after she scheduled it on a date she knew I might not make it?

Sister and fiancé (both early 40’s) are getting married after many years of dating, first marriage for both, but they’ve been casual about this from the get-go.

They decided to get married randomly after a conversation with friends prompted it, no proposal, wanted a courthouse ceremony and just a party with their friends.

Our family has blown this up a bit.

It seems to be moving now more towards a backyard wedding with friends and family.

Naturally.

Several months ago while they were discussing dates, my sister asked me what my availability was because I’m the only family that lives far away and I have 3 young kids, so I’m the most difficult to pin down.

We talked through my schedule and I gave her dates that were kind of like “no,” “maybe”, and “yes, absolutely.”

She said she was planning on those “yes” timeframes anyways so, awesome, this will be great.

Save the dates go out via email a few weeks later, and she set a date that was on my “maybe” weekends.

Well, you did say “maybe.”

I call and ask what’s up, she said her and fiance also kicked dates around with friends, and this was the one that seemed to work for them so… they decided to do that.

The “maybe” reason for me was related to other travel I have already scheduled.

Trying to get back to my hometown with my whole family is no longer an option, now it becomes only some of us go, and not others, or we fly out on different days… it’s a mess to navigate.

She says “Hey it’s okay. I want you there, but I understand.” I talk to my spouse, we decide it’s too much to navigate, too expensive to make it work, we’re not going.

Woof.

My sister seems fine, she keeps downplaying mom & dad making a big deal out of this, says it’s not even a wedding… yada yada.

I’m feeling okay but my siblings and my parents are absolutely ripping me to shreds over this. They are piling on the heaviest guilt trips, accusing me of not caring about family and sh*t like that.

Like I should just cancel and eat the cost of other things I’ve already paid for (and can’t get refunded) and drop thousands of dollars to fly my family to this wedding that my sister scheduled to happen on a weekend when they knew I may not be able to attend.

So Reddit… AITA for skipping this wedding?

Turns out, picking a “maybe” date was a surefire way to guarantee some serious “no” energy.

Here’s some of Redditors thoughts…

Some people thought she wasn’t the AH.

But some are questioning why she wouldn’t have just listed that date as a “no.”

And some are just plain telling it to her straight.

Looks like the bride isn’t the only one wearing white—those guilt trips are blinding.

So it goes sometimes!

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a daughter who invited herself to her parents’ 40th anniversary vacation for all the wrong reasons.