Therapy is a great tool to help process your feelings and emotions, but it’s doesn’t work the same way for everybody.
If you aren’t willing to be honest about your problems with a therapist, its pretty difficult for them to accurately help you with them.
But when this user told his family’s therapist that he felt like he was being robbed of a childhood by his parents, they were furious with him for “embarrassing” them.
Was he wrong to tell the truth about his experience, even if it didn’t paint his parents in the best light? Decide for yourself!
AITA for embarrassing my parents in family therapy?
I’m (15m) in family therapy with my parents and my sisters Alisha (13f) and Kayleigh (12f). Therapy is pretty new and not going so well.
We’re not a close family, we have a lot of issues and I know we have extra stresses because Alisha has a lot of complex medical issues and she can’t do everything Kayleigh and I can.
She needs a wheelchair sometimes, she’s on lots of meds, but she can be fine sometimes too and can enjoy life. But she has limitations we don’t.
And my parents make me feel like they want me to be another adult and not one of their kids.
OP explained that he had to give up on a lot of childhood activities to help care for his sister….
They don’t like me spending time with friends. They say I could be home, helping, taking care of my sisters or doing stuff at home for them.
When I do go they can make me take one or both sisters. Get angry if Alisha can’t join. If I’m forced to take one of my sisters, or both, I can’t have fun.
I get stuck making sure they’re okay. Even birthday parties (like at places that are not kid parties) I’m forced to bring them when they’re not invited and I get to watch them have fun.
And he even said he had been punished for his sister not having a good time at an event he was forced to take them to…
If I have fun at something and my sisters don’t, then I get in trouble. Happened during our last field trips.
I had a great time, Alisha had to leave early because she was sick, Kayleigh had such a bad time.
I told grandpa I had a great time and my parents berated me for it.
But this rule didn’t apply equally to all OP’s siblings…
While Kayleigh got to talk about how fun my best friends birthday at the trampoline park was.
And she didn’t get into trouble for Alisha being jealous and missing out like I would. I got berated for not having fun though. For acting spoiled that I didn’t have a good time.
They get mad I don’t buy my sisters birthday and Christmas gifts. They get mad that I get gifts from my best friends parents.
They get mad when I’m to my best friend’s family events as a friend for him to hang out with and it’s made clear my sisters aren’t invited even if it’s something they “could be included in”.
They were even mad when OP tried to explain the problem to his grandpa!
My parents get annoyed when I confide in grandpa. But they also get annoyed if I tell them how they make me feel. Alisha hates being left out which I get.
But I’m the only one my parents get angry with for it.
Now we’re in family therapy. My parents are using it to talk about how awful I am. They say I’m making life harder for everyone. They didn’t expect me to say how things really are.
But I did.
And for only being 15 years old, OP really articulated his frustration better than most adults could…
My parents said I act like a 5 year old who doesn’t like being the center of attention.
Well I brought up how they treat me and how I feel like they take their frustration about Alisha requiring so much care out on me.
I brought up how I’m held to a higher standard and they want me to be an adult and not a kid.
I said they can’t stand me having fun without my sisters or seeing me being the only one having fun, but almost like it when I’m the one not having fun.
But once they heard the truth out loud, OP’s parents were furious with him!
My parents got so annoyed at me after the session and accused me of embarrassing them.
I told them they just didn’t want me to speak so openly in front of my sisters which is why they included them in the therapy
AITA?
I truly feel for OP. Being held to a higher standard of maturity than most adults are when you’re only a teenager is one of the most frustrating things someone can experience!
Reddit said that no matter what his family situation was, he was deserved a childhood just as much as any other kid did.
And this user said that if his parents didn’t want OP to share his feelings, than they shouldn’t have gone to group therapy.
Many said that therapy without honesty was a pointless endeavor.
And finally, this user said that forcing kids to bring their younger siblings to activities is never a good idea.
They seriously need another round of family therapy!
If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a daughter who invited herself to her parents’ 40th anniversary vacation for all the wrong reasons.