One of the hardest things in this life is watching our relatives who used to be the strongest people in our life slowly become the people who rely on us for help.

And after a lifetime of supporting us, its only right that all of the younger relatives take on their fair share of work in taking care of them.

But after this user’s family had abandoned her for a decade to care for their elderly grandparents, they were furious that she wanted her first vacation in a decade!

Was she wrong to need some time to herself after years of being a caretaker? Decide for yourself!

AITA for leaving my Grandmother I care for to go on a month-long holiday & telling my family to ‘deal with it’?

For context, I (29f) come from a big family on my Mum’s (63f) side – Luca (26m), Sarah (39f), Simon (41m) and Anna (44f).

At 18, I moved across country to study, found a job and settled there. I was the only one to move away. 18 was also the last time I had a holiday.

As I was the only one who was ‘single’ when covid hit (as in, not living with my S/O), I was asked to move in with my grandparents to take care of them – I was happy to.

My relationship ended due to the distance.

When her Grandparents’ health took a turn for the worse, they soon needed full time care…

Sadly, their health deteriorated. They needed full-time care, which I provided – Cooking, cleaning, and personal care. After restrictions lifted, my siblings were quick to book holidays.

I gave up my house, found a WFH job but my intention was always to move back to the city.

After Grandpa passed, Nan asked me to stay, and I’d persistently be made fun of for ‘having no life.’

But in the same breath they said she had no life, they refused to include her in family vacations…

I always wanted to go to the US, everyone laughed it off saying I’d never do it.

I’ve been left out of family trips as ‘I’ll be busy with Nan anyway’ (they leave me to watch the kids when they’re away) – when I confront them, I’m called dramatic.

I’m not perfect, but I’m confident I’ve done my fair share. I’m introverted compared to my siblings, but I’ve probably made this worse for myself.

Some of my siblings are more culpable than others, but all have 2-3 holidays a year.

And after 11 years without a holiday, OP needed a vacation. Bad.

I really needed a break after Nan was released from hospital in June. Luca and Simon refused to relieve me for a couple hours when visiting because ‘they had things to do.’

I broke down over this. I work 40 hours/week on top of unpaid caring duties – I’m tired. Nan and Mum agreed I needed a break.

They told my siblings and they agreed I get a holiday. My friend invited me on a month-long trip across the US – I was stoked.

As said, I’ve always wanted to go but my family were horrified. Nan cried as ‘when she said I could have a holiday, she meant a week’.

Now OP’s family were realizing that they would have to do all the caretaking they had dumped on OP for the past decade..

Luca is annoyed as he’ll need to move in for a month to cover me. I’m mortified. I didn’t know there were terms and conditions for my break.

I gave 3 months’ notice; work didn’t have issues with this, why should they? I thought it would settle, but they won’t let it go.

I snapped and told them I uprooted my life for 4 years, they can cope without me for 4 weeks, so I went ahead and booked the trip.

They’re calling me selfish for booking so long, saying my situation is different – they have S/Os, kids etc. (Simon & Luca don’t have kids).

They even said OP had CHOSE to spend her entire life taking care of their grandparents…

But the reason I don’t is I’m here and haven’t been able to move on. They say it was MY choice to move here and do this.

I’m now thinking I shouldn’t have booked so long, as even Nan is upset with me.

I’m considering cancelling the trip but my friend says I’d be the AH to her if I did that. Mum won’t get involved.

I don’t know what to do. AITA?

Here’s what to do: enjoy your trip!

You haven’t taken a vacation in years and your family has obviously been taken advantage of your kindness, not just with Grandma, but with their own kids!

Reddit said that not only should OP take her vacation, but she should have a payment plan ready for her family by the time she gets back.

If they can’t function for one month without her, it might be time to get Grandma some serious help.

She definitely needs to be compensated for her time!

Finally, this person pointed out something kind of sad.

One month? If I were her I’d take a year off!

If you thought that was an interesting story, check out what happened when a family gave their in-laws a free place to stay in exchange for babysitting, but things changed when they don’t hold up their end of the bargain.