TwistedSifter

After Constantly Venting To Her Family About Her Unhappy Marriage, A Woman Becomes Furious When Their Honest Advice Doesn’t Align With What She Wants To Hear

Source: Getty/CourtneyK, Reddit/AITA

Giving advice can be a delicate art, especially when the truth is hard to swallow.

When a woman reeling over her troubled marriage asks her family for advice, their well-intentioned but direct response led to a family rift that may be hard to mend.

Read on for the whole story!

AITA for not apologizing after giving my sister very blunt answer when she asked me what she should do?

My sister has never been happy with her husband. That’s just a fact.

She has stated it herself many times that even her wedding day was very imperfect and she was upset throughout different parts of the day.

This family member thinks they know exactly what the problem is.

The problem as I see it is my sister married her husband for love but did not think about the long term dynamics of whether they’d be happy.

His son, who was young when my sister married her husband, didn’t like my sister and was incredibly standoffish with her.

The sister received several warnings before the wedding.

There were comments made back then that things would be different when he was older and he just needed to get to know her.

I always wondered why not have that happen BEFORE marriage.

But it was never really my business.

But she refused to hear it.

My sister told everyone she spoke to at the time that she didn’t want to hear negativity about her marriage or her decision to marry her husband while his son wasn’t on board.

I don’t remember a time in the last decade where my sister genuinely seemed happy.

The sister has dedicated a lot of energy towards mending her relationship with her stepson.

She has been focused on changing things with her stepson and giving all her attention to that relationship.

It bothers her that even now that he’s 19 and no longer living with her and her husband, he still hasn’t grown to appreciate her (the way she describes it).

People have told her she doesn’t need to get so worked up over it anymore because he’s out of the house and she can focus on her marriage.

But again, she won’t listen to reason, but is still happy to complain any chance she gets.

Nope. That’s still an obsession of hers.

In the last few months, she has been far more open about her unhappiness with her family life and not being happy ever with it.

One day, her family decides to finally be honest.

So when she came to me and told me she wanted advice on what she should do next, I told her very bluntly that she should leave her husband.

Because after all this time of being unhappy and her fixation on her stepson not liking her, I don’t think it’s healthy to stay.

They defend their advice further.

I do not think she can find happiness when it’s very clear her stepson will not be warming up to her anytime in the near future.

I told her that appears to matter more to her than anything which is not a good sign for her marriage.

She took it okay for a couple of minutes. I thought she was acknowledging my point at least.

But then the conversation took a turn for the worse.

But then she accused me of being “cold” about it and “flippant” and she told me people don’t just toss away happy marriages for other stuff.

I told her she has been saying for years the marriage isn’t happy. She told me its’ the family, not the marriage, that is unhappy.

She started getting incredibly defensive.

I told her she takes it as the same thing. Because even with her stepson out of the house she’s not happy and she could focus just on the marriage now.

She stormed out and then a few days later she asked where her apology was and why I hadn’t made amends for what I said.

Her family was confused why she wouldn’t just listen to their well-intentioned advice.

I told her she asked for my opinion on what she should do and I gave it to her.I said blunt was all she hadn’t heard yet so I believed she needed to hear it.

She told me it wasn’t my place to be blunt. I told her she asked me a question and I answered.

She said I was an even bigger AH for not apologizing.

AITA?

Seems like this family is in an even worse place than when there they started.

The whole song and dance is getting pretty exhausting.

This redditor suspects her unhappiness lives deep within.

This commenter suggests the sister should talk to someone who can be more objective.

The sister needs to be honest with herself that she’s not actually looking for solutions.

While the sister may not have liked the response, she needed to hear it one way or the other.

Sometimes raw honesty is the only real path forward.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a daughter who invited herself to her parents’ 40th anniversary vacation for all the wrong reasons.

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