In today’s story, a teen in foster care likes his foster parents except for one thing – they are trying to convince him to change his name.
Let’s see why the foster parents made the suggestion, and why he’s totally against the idea.
The details are below!
AITA for not being open to the idea of changing my first name like my foster parents suggested?
I’m (16m) a foster kid.
I was taken from my mom 3 years ago because she’s not doing good mentally and it wasn’t considered safe for me to live with her.
My current foster parents are the ones I hope to stay with until I turn 18. They’re the best I’ve had and I bounced around a lot, especially in my first year.
But there’s something that has come up and now I’m wondering.
So my name’s Ryder. My foster parents don’t outright say they hate it. But I think I saw my foster mom cringe at my name before.
My foster dad asked me when we first met what my middle name was, and I guess that wasn’t a name they liked either.
So they call me Ry and I think sometimes they tried to say my name’s Ryan instead of Ryder.
His foster parents want him to change his name.
A month ago they had asked me if I had ever considered changing my first name when I turn 18 to something more sophisticated sounding.
They even said Ryan could be an idea since it’s so close and they share a nickname.
I told them I liked my names and didn’t ever think of changing them.
They didn’t say any more then, but a week later they told me they had thought a lot about my future and they worried my name would be something that holds me back.
My foster mom said it sounds so lewd when said fast and they felt I deserved better than that.
I told them it didn’t bother me and I liked that my mom had chosen my name. That was the end of it again.
The foster parents brought up more reasons to consider a name change.
And then last week they brought it up again and they showed me these articles on the importance of a name, of naming babies for adult life instead of being cute or fun as kids.
They told me they couldn’t make me do it, which I knew, but they would like me to strongly consider it so I could have the chance at a professional future and being taken seriously.
They said they would hate to see me passed over for jobs because of my name. And that they feel like a much older me won’t find the name as cool as I do now.
He still doesn’t want to change his name.
They asked if I trusted them.
I said yeah.
They said if I do, I should really give some thought to what I could change my name to that would be a better name for adult me.
I told them I was really never going to be okay with that. I felt like it was a waste of time and would get me stuck with some name I wouldn’t like.
They asked why I was so okay with dismissing future me and why could I not try, when they were doing all they could to help me.
I could tell it really got to them that I was still so against it.
AITA?
I don’t see anything wrong with the name Ryder.
Let’s see how Reddit responded…
This person likes the name Ryder.
This person thinks the foster parents are making it all about them.
Another person thinks Ryder might want to talk to his social worker.
Here’s another vote for Ryder being a great name.
Here’s an approach Ryder could take…
Another person points out similar names.
I don’t think he should change his name.
First and foremost because he doesn’t want to.
If you liked that story, check out this post about an oblivious CEO who tells a web developer to “act his wage”… and it results in 30% of the workforce being laid off.