Navigating a life after losing your spouse is difficult enough without your family constantly in your business.

When this father puts his children’s stability over finding a new partner, his relatives constantly hammer him over his decisions.

After near constant pressure, one day he explodes and sends shockwaves across his family dynamic.

Read on for all the details.

AITA for pointing out mother and brother’s “step-problems” as a reason why I won’t pursue another relationship after being widowed.

I (46M) lost my wife to cancer 4 years ago, when our two sons were 6 and 8 years old.

It was a difficult adjustment for all of us, and I’d be kidding if I said it doesn’t remain difficult, but I can also say that the boys and I have managed to move forward as a close-knit family.

Luckily, he took the right steps to work to turn life around for his family.

They’re doing great in school. I’m fortunate enough to be well-off, so I have been able to afford therapy for all of us and plenty of help around the house.

We have an awesome roster of babysitters who the kids love. And my late wife’s sister and brother-in-law happen to live near us and have stepped up as additional adult family figures in my kids’ lives.

He’s made clear what he wants to focus on after the tragedy.

I have not pursued any relationships since my wife’s passing. I want to focus on my kids. It’s not like I am a hermit or anything.

I have plenty of friends and I do get the opportunity to socialize, thanks to babysitters and my sister and BIL.

For sure, it’s not the life I envisioned a decade ago, but I feel like I am making things work and I’m proud of our resilience as a family.

But not everyone is pleased with his decisions.

The problem is my mother (divorced from my dad and remarried) and my older brother (divorced and remarried).

A year or so after my wife’s death, they started making comments about how I needed to start dating again, with the strong hint that my kids needed a mother figure around.

I found this annoying then and only more annoying as time has gone on.

The comments tend to wax and wane.

He doubts his family is really qualified to give him advice about his affairs.

The irony is that both my mother and my brother ended up with step-kids.

In my mother’s case, it happened just after I left for college, so I never lived with step-dad or step-siblings, but my younger brother did, and it was a ****show for him.

He and the step-siblings never got along, he never recognized step-dad as father figure.

Our dad never remarried and he and my brother have a much better relationship than he and my mother do.

He observes the mistakes of his family and vows not to repeat them.

My older brother’s family is a signal example of the phenomenon visible all over this sub of two people with kids remarrying in the belief that they are going to be the Brady Bunch but instead ending up as the Jerry Springer show.

The step-sibs war with each other and their respective step-parent.

But he can only keep his cool for so long.

Here’s my potential AH behavior.

At a recent family dinner (no kids, just mom, my two brothers and I), mom and older brother started in again on the “you need to find a partner” nonsense.

I tried to deflect it in a non-confrontational way. “I guess my family is a like a wheelchair – we’re not designed to handle ‘steps.’”

It didn’t work, as they became defensive and that I was pig-headed to avoid dating for that reason.

Then it was “no more Mr. Nice Guy” for his family.

I lost my temper and told them that they could do as they please, but personally I feel like the happiness of my kids is more important than having a full bed and someone to make me breakfast (brother’s wife is SAHM).

I can pay a maid or a cook if I need it, I said.

Younger brother said “amen”, but mom and other bro said my comments were cruel and insulting.

Did I overreact? AITA?

Sounds like they pushed him too far this time.

Reddit chimes in.

Not only is what this father is doing understandable, it’s admirable.

This redditor suspects his family’s bad behavior will only continue without intervention.

This father needs to trust his gut and not sway to his family’s whims.

This commenter suspects that many widowed people don’t remarry for the right reasons.

While his family might not agree, he’s steadfast in his commitment to his kids and their stability.

He made it clear to his opinionated relatives that he’s writing his own story and he doesn’t need a co-author.

If you liked that story, check out this post about a group of employees who got together and why working from home was a good financial decision.